Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series that gets weirder than Alexa Bliss & The Fiend fan-fiction! Headlined by Diesel defending his WWF Championship against The British Bulldog. Shawn Michaels cannot defend his Intercontinental Championship, what will happen with HBK? Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid challenge for The Tag Team Championships and The Bizarre One Goldust makes his PPV Debut!
Fatu vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley
From Headshrinker to dancing Samoan but it’s not the gimmick that finally clicked for Fatu, it’s the beginning of a number of gimmick changes for Fatu until we eventually get the beach blonde man who loves rubbing his ass in peoples’ faces. This would be a main event 5 years from this date but on this night, it’s two men trying to find their feet in the WWF.
Fatu decks Helmsley with right hands, back body-drop from Fatu. Ten punches in the corner rock Helmsley, Helmsley is in serious trouble. Helmsley is whipped to the floor, Helmsley meets the steel steps as Fatu dominates this match. Helmsley begs for mercy, Fatu is whipped to the buckle. Fatu leaps over Helmsley but Helmsley tries to bang Fatu’s head off the buckle and that does not work at all. Fatu decks Helmsley with right hands before Helmsley locks Fatu in between the ropes. Fatu is strangled as Helmsley dishes out the punishment. Piledriver from Helmsley, uppercuts from Helmsley.
Rights and stomps from Helmsley, Fatu fires back with right hands before Helmsley rakes the eyes. Neck-breaker from Helmsley for two, knee drop and right hands from Helmsley. Two for Helmsley, Helmsley applies a reverse chin-lock. Fatu fights out of the hold before a throat thrust from Helmsley, hard Irish whip and clothesline from Helmsley for two. Fatu almost rolls-up Helmsley for a close two, Helmsley wants the pedigree but Fatu back-drops Helmsley. DDT by Helmsley but no effect, superkick and back-drop from Fatu.
Back-breaker, Fatu is climbing to the middle rope. Diving Headbutt connects on Helmsley for a close two. Running out of the corner, Fatu lands a cutter. Fatu calls for the finish, Fatu climbs high to the top rope. Fatu misses the diving top rope splash, Helmsley takes control and delivers The Pedigree for the win.
Not much of a story to this match but it has some fun to it for sure, Helmsley’s gimmick lends to some great reactions from the fans, fans love Helmsley getting destroyed but also, I forgot how vicious The Pedigree looked when it came out first. However, Helmsley has had some horrid opponents to work with, I wonder when Helmsley will have his first proper feud in the WWF. I do not have to wait long as we see Henry O. Godwinn wanting to slop Hunter. Good opening match!
Winner: Hunter Hearst Helmsley over Fatu via Pedigree!
(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The Smoking Gunns © vs Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid
So Michaels and Diesel as champions went nowhere I assume? So, Smoking Gunns are your champions with Owen Hart & Yokozuna nowhere in sight, the story of this one is can Kid & Razor put their problems behind them, they were having some serious issues the last time we saw the two.
Billy finally cut that atrocious mullet and moustache combination, Bart has not decided to follow Billy into the world of decent looking haircuts. Kid and Billy to start, Kid throws kicks that make Billy think twice about attacking. Lock-up, arm-drag from Kid. Another lock-up, Billy shoves Kid down with ease. Little trash-talking from both, Kid grabs a headlock. Billy picks up Kid and shoves him off, both men dodge before Billy hip-tosses Kid down. Arm-wringer from Billy, tag to Bart. Kid tags in Razor, crowd comes alive as Razor mocks Bart. Bart shoves down Razor, Razor takes the arm and lands shoulder thrusts. Bart reverses and arm-drags Razor, Razor takes the back.
Bart takes down Razor, Razor looks a little frustrated by these developments. Razor skips the arm-bars and throws big rights, Kid low-bridges Bart who wipes out on the floor. Kid thinks about stomping Bart but says, no not tonight. Razor whips Bart to the buckle hard, corner clothesline from Razor. Right hands from Razor, tag to Kid. Kid lands big kicks to rock the face of Bart, spinning heel kick that rocks Bart. Kid cheap-shots Billy, signs of a new attitude from Kid. Two leg drops to Bart, tag to Razor. Fallaway slam from Razor, tag to Kid. Tag team manoeuvre as Razor fallaway slams Kid into Bart, chops in the corner from Kid.
Tag to Razor, chops and rights from Razor. Double team attack takes down Bart, elbow drop from Kid for two. Kid tags in Razor again, measured right to the ribs. Bart manages to send Razor into the mat as Razor lowered his head off an Irish whip, Razor and Bart bang heads. Billy gets the hot-tag, right hands and dropkicks rock Kid and Razor, scoop slam and elbow drop on Kid for a close two. Stomp to the face from Billy, tag to Bart who kicks Kid in the ribs. Bart lands a delayed back-breaker, make it two. Make it three, Razor saves his team. Tag to Billy, dropkick and suplex combination for a close two. Irish whip to the buckle, Billy misses a corner splash.
Bart pulls Billy on top of Kid, Razor pulls Kid on top of Billy. Close two for Kid, Kid manages to tag Razor. Right hands to both Gunns, Discuss punch for Bart who spills to the floor. Billy tries a back body-drop, Razor catches Billy for The Razor’s Edge. Kid wants the tag, Razor tags in Kid. Kid covers Billy not paying much attention to the downed Gunn and Billy reverses the pin-fall for a crucifix cover. The Smoking Gunns retain as Kid goes mental and wipes out The Smoking Gunns after the bell.
Nice little match that is heavy on story-telling compared to everything else, it’s all about what is happening with The 1-2-3 Kid. Kid is showing a meanstreak and a cockiness that costs the challengers the tag team championships. Again, I must sound like a broken record at this point but how Razor Ramon is not challenging for the WWF Championship is beyond me, the crowd goes nuts every time that Razor is in the ring and when that Razor’s Edge hits, everyone believes and so badly wants new tag team champions but they do not give it to us. Instead, we have more character development for The Kid and we will see just what happens next between Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid.
Winners: The Smoking Gunns over Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid via Roll-Up!
Goldust vs Marty Jannetty
A fan of the movies, The Bizarre Goldust is here looking like an Oscar or Golden Globe. Goldust gets the star treatment for sure with a unique entrance and a gimmick that was truly unique. Jannetty is the unlucky punk who will be putting over the fabulous Goldust in this match, Jannetty is back in the WWF and I am not sure how long this stint will last but I do not think it lasts very long.
Goldust rushes Jannetty but Jannetty dodges, big right hands and a back body-drop from Jannetty. Clothesline to the floor from Jannetty, Jannetty attacks Goldust on the floor with Goldust continuing to run away from his opponent. Goldust looks at the fans in attendance and stalks Jannetty, Jannetty calls Golduts a chicken. Goldust is in the face of Jannetty, words are exchanged but nothing happens. Goldust takes the back, O’Connor roll for two. Massive throat thrust from Goldust, Jannetty is rocked. Jannetty avoids the scoop slam, hurricanrana from Jannetty before Goldust shoves Jannetty twice.
Jannetty starts throwing rights, Goldust reverses the Irish whip but Jannetty scores with the right hand before Goldust lands a massive clothesline that turns Jannetty inside out! Jannetty is rammed into the buckle, right hand from Goldust. Hard Irish whip to the buckle, snap-mare and chop to the throat for two. Reverse chin-lock from Goldust, Jannetty escapes before Goldust cuts off Jannetty, dumping Jannetty to the floor. Goldust runs Jannetty into the steel steps and stomps him, Jannetty is on the apron and snap-mares Goldust to the floor. Jannetty rams Goldust into the steel steps before Goldust shoves Jannetty into the ring-post hard.
Suplex into the ring from Goldust for a close two, reverse chin-lock from Goldust again. Jannetty backs into the ropes, Goldust whips Jannetty with Jannetty slamming Goldust to the mat. Whip to the buckle but Jannetty misses a corner splash, Goldust lands a boot to the ribs and a DDT for two. Goldust lowers his head off an Irish whip, Rocker Dropper and Jannetty is on the top rope. Goldust dodges Jannetty’s attack but Jannetty elbow drops Goldust for a close two. Clotheslines from Jannetty, snap-mare and Jannetty goes high once more. Fist drop is blocked by the boot of Goldust, Front Suplex and Goldust wins.
So, I don’t know why they went about this in this fashion. Goldust, a new debuting superstar has a back and forth match up with Jannetty, Jannetty who is back in the WWF but has filled the jobber to the stars role successfully throughout 1993 and 1994 even doing the service on PPV for Ludvig Borga. However, we have a competitive match here that goes on for a lot longer than it needed to be and there are some awkward spots in there for sure. I wouldn’t be happy if that was my debut match, I can tell you that for sure.
Winner: Goldust over Marty Jannetty via Front Suplex!
King Mabel W/ Sir Mo vs Yokozuna W/ Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette
This sounds like an encounter that would be fun for a little spot in a Royal Rumble match, not a fully-fledged match. Mabel is one of the most poorly booked babyfaces inside of that ring, we are talking Rhino levels of dumb while Yokozuna is at his biggest and fattest with no Owen Hart to carry the match. Both men batter one another, looks decent. Yokozuna begins winning the war, clothesline to the floor. Mabel walks around the ring, taking his time. Yokozuna stares down Mabel, Eye rake from Mabel, Mabel delivers a flying clothesline to Yokozuna. Elbow to the head and Yokozuna is on the floor, corner clothesline and stomps from Mabel. More forearm shots, Mabel struts around the ring.
Massive whip to the corner, Yokozuna clotheslines Mabel down. Massive leg drop misses though, Mabel misses an elbow drop. Right hands from Yokozuna, headbutt from Yokozuna. Mabel misses a bulldog but Yokozuna sells it anyways, large groans from the fans. They are on the floor, Mabel is sent into the ring-post. Yokozuna collapses onto Cornette from exhaustion? Double count-out?
The fans rush to the barricade, it looks as if someone has passed away but nope that’s all folks. The two climb back in the ring and embrace and celebrate? So why did they fight? What was the point of this match? What did we need to have two slow moving trucks try to wrestle for that amount of time? Yokozuna is beyond washed up now, the tag team scene is the only thing that can protect the massive wrestler and Mabel continues to have the worst finishes to matches in WWF history. A double count-out but Yokozuna just collapsed on Cornette randomly? Pure utter crap from the WWF here!
(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Razor Ramon vs Dean Douglas ©
Shawn Michaels has a concussion, Shawn Michaels cannot wrestle and must forfeit his WWF Intercontinental Championship. A bittersweet moment considering how Michaels captured the championship and continued to tear it up in the WWF more than anyone else, only Bret Hart coming close to Michaels in terms of match quality in the WWF at the time although Bret has been saddled with some shitty feuds during this year. Douglas is your champion but now must battle his nemesis Razor Ramon.
Ramon clocks Douglas with a right hand, Douglas is not happy with this development. Will The Kid be involved in this one? Lock-up, Ramon grabs the arm and lands shoulder thrusts on the champion. Douglas is begging for mercy as Razor continues to yank the arm out of its socket. Arm-bar from Razor, knee to the arm which leaves Douglas reaching for the ropes. Razor slaps the head of Douglas over and over, Razor pulls at the hair of the champion. Douglas lands elbows to escape, Douglas misses a corner splash and Razor goes back to the arm. Arm-drag from Douglas but Razor holds on, more paint-brushing from Razor. Douglas backs Razor to the corner, cheap-shot from Douglas who smashes Razor with right hands and stomps.
Razor reverses an Irish whip, Douglas ducks the right hand but jumps into the fallaway slam. Clothesline to the floor, Razor is firing up the fans. Razor hangs up Douglas using the top rope, eye poke from Douglas. Razor blocks and sends Douglas into the buckle, massive right hand floors Douglas. Douglas is suplexed into the ring, Razor stomps on the face of Douglas. Irish whip to the buckle, Douglas collapses to the mat as Razor kicks Douglas to the floor. Right hand from Razor, Razor covers Douglas with water and lands more big right hands. Shoulder thrusts from Razor, right hand counter from Douglas. Atomic drop from Razor, Razor wants the Razor’s Edge but Douglas back-drops Razor to the floor.
Right hands from Douglas, Douglas rams Razor into the apron back-first. Douglas is on the top rope, Douglas tries an axe handle but Razor lands his chokeslam on Douglas. Douglas has his shots blocked, Razor lands a discuss right that floors Douglas. Douglas is on the top rope, Razor is elbowed away. Diving Crossbody but Razor rolls through, 1…2… Douglas kicks out! Dropkick from Douglas floors Razor for two, Razor sends Douglas to the buckle. Belly to back suplex with Razor covering for the win. Douglas is in shock, Dean Douglas believes that his leg was under the rope.
Well I mean that’s interesting to see, I thought Douglas would have stolen the win considering Douglas was just awarded the championship but we have a new champion. This was one of Razor’s poorer matches for me, I much prefer the matches with Jeff Jarrett because Jarrett plays to Razor’s strengths, that being Razor punches you to death and runs through his spots before the heels dominate on top. This match does not start like that, we have Razor working the arm for what seems like an eternity and the fans are just not into it at all. They much prefer to see Razor deck Douglas, this routinely gets the biggest crowd-reaction from the fans. Anyways, Douglas does nothing to make me get into him during this match, I don’t know what Douglas brings to the table but then again, maybe the Kliq were already screwing with the mind of The Franchise. The finish leaves the match open for a rematch which hopefully, they rectify the mistakes they made with this match.
Winner: Razor Ramon over Dean Douglas via Belly to Back Suplex!
(WWF Championship Match) Diesel © vs The British Bulldog W/ Jim Cornette
Newly-minted British Bulldog faces the man who he attacked from behind, Bulldog took out Diesel before the champion’s encounter with King Mabel. Bulldog continued to antagonize the champion and that leads us to this match tonight with the championship up for grabs. Cornette is at ringside but more interestingly, Bret Hart is on commentary during this match.
Diesel is one man Bulldog cannot out-power, this is noticeable from the get-go as Diesel shoves away Bulldog twice. Side headlock from Bulldog, Bulldog dodges two clotheslines before eating a forearm. Bulldog tries a crossbody but gets caught in a scoop slam, make it two. Bulldog rolls to the floor, frustrated as Cornette tries to calm down his prodigy. Diesel is tracked to the ring-post, Diesel sends Bulldog into the ring-post using his feet. Irish whip and corner clothesline from Diesel, make it two. Knees in the corner from Diesel, elbows in the corner too. Bulldog goes low with a chop block, headbutts and forearms from Bulldog. Diesel reverses an Irish whip, Bulldog tries an O’Connor roll before a dropkick sends Diesel to the floor. Diesel is helped up by Bret, Diesel shoves Bret!
Stare-down from the two before Bulldog chop-blocks Diesel down, Bulldog begins working the leg with knees to Diesel. Bulldog drops his weight down on Diesel’s leg, staring at Bret while he does so, nice little touch from Bulldog. Leg drops to the knee from Bulldog, Texas Cloverleaf attempt from Bulldog. Diesel uses his height to reach up and elbow Bulldog in the head. Diesel is down on the floor, Cornette delivers an elbow drop to the leg. Cornette gets in some extra stomps too behind the referee’s back, Bulldog rams Diesel into the steel steps. Diesel tries fighting back but Diesel is clubbed down from Bulldog, single leg Boston crab from Bulldog. Boston Crab from Bulldog, Bulldog doing all he can to make Diesel submit in this match.
Diesel uses his leg-strength to shove off Bulldog, single leg Boston Crab applied again by Bulldog. Bit much on the rest holds now guys, come on. Leg drop from Bulldog for two, Diesel fights out of another hold but Bulldog goes back to attacking the leg. More rest-holds, Diesel lands forearms before Bulldog clamps down on the leg again with a rest-hold. Diesel kicks off Bulldog, Diesel is hobbling to the corner. Bulldog lures in Diesel, avoiding an elbow and Bulldog applies a front chancery before going back to the leg again! Bulldog tries a suplex but Diesel manages to land his own suplex. Diesel ducks a right hand and delivers a belly to back suplex.
Bulldog clubs Diesel over and over, Bulldog wants to apply The Sharpshooter. Such disrespect and Bulldog is trying all he can but Diesel kicks off Bulldog with ease. More kicks from Bulldog, scoop slam and Diesel falls on Bulldog for two. Running powerslam is countered and Diesel lands a big boot with his weakened foot, Diesel calls for the finish. Cornette is yanked into the ring, Bulldog aims for Diesel but clocks Cornette, forearms from Diesel. Big knee across the back, Bulldog is on the floor. Diesel slowly steps to the floor, Bulldog sends Diesel into the ring-post. Bulldog slaps Bret, Bret has had enough and starts pounding Bulldog in the ring. Diesel is back in the ring, Diesel is like what did you do that for? Diesel and Bret begin brawling, Bulldog walks off as referees clear up the brawling.
That was garbage, hot garbage I might add. My poor In Your House reviews were going so well with 1 and 2 and things are collapsing fast. This main event which would be possibly the third or fourth time Diesel has let me down in the main event was a joke. The rest-holds were magnificent and hours long in this match, Bulldog spent 90% of it I am sure just holding Diesel’s leg in his hands. There was no urgency, no reason to get invested beyond Cornette being a smug shit at ringside. It was awful, terrible way to end the show. Bulldog is protected with the DQ, we will see if Bulldog challenges for the championship once more but I hated this, there needs to be a change at the top of the card.
Winner: British Bulldog over Diesel via DQ!
That was WWF’s In Your House 4, a bad show from the WWF. Like one of the worst up there with King Of The Ring 1995. You kick things off decently with Fatu vs Helmsley, the gimmicks are a perfect reason for a clash and Helmsley has no problem bouncing all around the ring for Fatu. Fatu sells, Helmsley sells and we end with a devastating Pedigree that the fans are buying into for sure. The tag team championship match is heavy on story-telling, I want to like The Gunns more, I think they did well working with The Blu Brothers and have had some terrible teams to work with in their division but this is all about The Kid. The Kid continues to show arrogance and mature into a heel before our eyes, his cockiness costing his team the championships which will lead to a confrontation with Razor possibly for the IC Championship. Things get so much worse though as we have Mabel vs Yokozuna, there are some big hits followed by massive rest periods and in the end, the match seemed pointless as they all embraced so what was the point?
HBK forfeits the championship, a terrible moment considering the level of performance HBK was turning in during the year, 1995 easily being the year Shawn Michaels stepped it up to a whole new level. So we have Douglas vs Ramon which has Ramon make Douglas look like crap and ends with a belly to back suplex. Could Razor have stuck Douglas with The Razor’s Edge to make this look somewhat decent? This match takes all the fun out of Razor and leaves you wondering how Razor could go from being fun in the second match to boring in the semi-main. Finally, the main event is rest-holds galore with Diesel sitting on his ass groaning about his leg for eternity. Nothing happens and the finish is just unsatisfying. Why anyone would enjoy this is beyond me? And you know what? Things are so bad I forgot that Goldust debuted on this show, 11 minutes of a competitive match for a debuting superstar makes no sense to me. Goldust doesn’t come off great in this one, skip this show if I were you because you are missing nothing. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!