Hello and welcome to another edition
of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the
internet that brings you more fire than Becky Lynch on Twitter! It’s time for
the inaugural Royal Rumble, twenty men competing in an over the top rope battle
royal. We also have a contract signing of what might be the most important
rematch in history, Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant do battle once more! We also
get to see Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat, The Islanders vs The Young Stallions,
this should be a fun card but it’s the first of its kind, could The Royal
Rumble have the success that Wrestlemania had? Let’s find out!
Ravishing Rick Rude vs Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
Rude starts
with forearms, right hands to the face of Steamboat, Steamboat answers with
massive chops. Eye rake by Rude, Steamboat skins the cat off an Irish whip.
Rude is sent tumbling to the floor as Steamboat poses for the fan. Rude asks
for the test of strength, Rude quickly overpowers Steamboat, the crowd come
alive for Steamboat. Up comes Steamboat, trip into an armbar from Steamboat.
Steamboat wrenches the arm of The Ravishing One, Rude escapes but eats a deep
armdrag. Rude uses big forearms to escape, the two trade Irish whips before a
massive chop from Steamboat. Deep armdrag and armbar from Steamboat, Rude is
almost pinned as we have a close two.
Rude boots
Steamboat and escapes the hold, Steamboat is bounced off the turnbuckle. Rude
rakes the eyes maintaining control. Steamboat is staggering, Rude Irish whips
Steamboat. Steamboat slides through his legs twice, massive arm-drag into an
armbar. Knees to the base of the shoulder from Steamboat, Steamboat has
tortured the arm of Rude for the majority of this match. Rude uses an elbow to
escape the hold, Rude poses for the fans. Right hands by Rude, Steamboat chops
back. Rude knees Steamboat in the ribs which causes Steamboat to tumble to the
floor, the referee begins to count against Steamboat.
Steamboat is
sent back first into the apron, scoop slam on the floor. Rude nails his
signature pose as the fans boo Rude. Steamboat eats a right hand as he is
dragged up to the apron, apron suplex from Rude for two. Camel clutch from
Rude, every time Steamboat tries to escape, Rude drops all his weight on
Steamboat’s spine. Steamboat fades, two drops of the hand but Steamboat continues
to battle. Steamboat picks Rude up onto his shoulders, electric chair drop from
Steamboat. Steamboat tries a splash, Rude puts up his knees.
Atomic drop
from Rude, Rude poses for the fans again. Two for Rude, camel clutch from Rude.
Steamboat escapes and kicks off Rude, Rude eats the turnbuckle hard. Snapmare
and falling chop from Steamboat for two, headlock takedown from Rude. The two
trade pins, Steamboat bridges up and backslides Rude for two. Schoolboy from
Steamboat for two, jacknife cover from Steamboat for two, both men attempt
small packages for two. Eye rake by Rude, Irish whip by Rude. Lariat for two,
Steamboat blocks the suplex. Suplex by Steamboat, Steamboat climbs high. Rude
pulls the referee into the crossbody, Rude has Steamboat in an Argentine
Backbreaker. Ricky The Dragon Steamboat is declared the winner by DQ, Rude is
incensed!
This was a
whole lot of fun, two legends tearing it up in the ring. Fantastic arm work
from Steamboat throughout the earlier parts of the match. Steamboat was
energetic and selling like death throughout the match while Rude was a
fantastic in terms of his character, nobody could be possibly be as full as
themselves as Ravishing Rick Rude, the man oozes charisma. Loved the finish
too, Rude cheated and paid for it, perfect classic heel getting what he
deserves for cheating.
Winner:
Ricky The Dragon Steamboat over Rick Rude via DQ!
(WWF Women’s Tag Team Championship 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match)
The Glamour Girls © W/ Jimmy Hart vs The Jumping Bomb Angels
Double
dropkick to start, Kai and Martin double team Yamazaki. Splash by Martin,
Yamazaki escapes and school boys for two. Tateno gutwrench slams Martin for
two. Tag to Yamazaki, Martin catches the crossbody and slams her, Martin misses
the elbow. Yamazaki and Kai are in the ring, high knee from Yamazaki. Tag to
Tateno, massive dropkicks. Cheap shot by Yamazaki, Kai is knocked around for
two. Tateno applies an octopus stretch, the match breaks down, double figure
four leg locks from the Jumping Bomb Angels. Tateno leg drops Martin hard,
another wishbone split from Tateno. Yamazaki comes in for an Indian deathlock,
Martin has her legs wrenched at repeatedly.
Tateno comes
in, Martin grabs Tateno in the corner, Tateno is dragged to the mat. Kai smacks
Tateno from the apron, Martin nails an alley oop bomb for the first fall, The
Glamour Girls celebrate in the win as they are so close to retaining their tag
team championships.
We restart
with Martin dragging the hair out of Tateno. Massive chop and boot by Kai,
Tateno bridges out of a pin. Scoop slam by Kai, Kai misses a splash. Dropkicks
and slams by Yamazaki, crossbody for two. The Jumping Bomb Angels bamboozle The
Glamour Girls, Kai knocks down Tateno. Powerbomb is reversed from Tateno,
Tateno schoolgirls Kai and we have evened things up, the winner of the next
fall wins the tag team championships.
Tateno Irish
whips Kai, Tateno and Kai trade blows. Kai wins the battle, tag to Martin.
Enzuigiri from Tateno, tag to Yamazaki. Fisherman suplex is blocked, Martin
knees Yamazaki down to the mat. Irish whip to the corner, Yamazaki leapfrogs
Martin and backslides Martin before Martin escapes. Catapult for Yamazaki, tag
to Kai. Necksnap from Kai, stomps from Kai. Double underhook suplex for two,
Kai bites the arm of Yamazaki. Boot across the choke, tag to Martin, Yamazaki
tags Tateno who is tossed across the ring. Tateno rallies, back drops for Kai,
two drops for two. Martin is dragged into the ring too, tag to Yamazaki. Scoop
slam and knee drop combination for two, scoop slam and cover for two by
Yamazaki. Double underhook suplex with a bridge for two.
Tateno is
in, middle rope senton misses. Tateno regains control, tag to Yamazaki. Diving
clothesline for two, Kai saves Martin. Both Jumping Bomb Angels climb to the
top rope, Double Diving Dropkick for the win behind the referee’s back, this
match is over and we have new champions.
Best women’s
match in the WWF at this point, The Jumping Bomb Angels are super talented,
they showed they were lightyears ahead at Survivor Series and that finish
speaks volume, perfect double dropkick that wipes out Judy Martin, fantastic
stuff from The Jumping Bomb Angels. Another highlight is Vince not having a
clue of the names of The Jumping Bomb Angels, great stuff.
Winners:
The Jumping Bomb Angels over The Glamour Girls via Double Diving Dropkick!
Hogan/Andre Contract Signing/Dino Bravo World Record
Dino Bravo
sets a new record albeit with help from Jesse Ventura, classic segment to put
over the raw power of the new debuting superstar. Good start for Bravo, we also
have the contract signing for Hogan vs Andre at Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Ted Dibiase is in Andre’s corner with Virgil, fantastic promo and presence from
Dibiase, you can see why Dibiase was signed to the WWF. Jack Tunney presides
over the contract signing, nice use of an authority figure who does not
dominate the show. Andre leaves Hogan in a heap on the ground, can Hogan topple
Andre again?
The Royal Rumble Match
Twenty men
competing in a battle royal, entrants one and two are Bret Hart and Tito
Santana respectively. How do you win? Throw your opponent over the top rope
with both feet touching the floor. Santana gets the better of Bret to begin the
match, right hands to the face of Bret. Bret uses gut punches to get back into
the match, inverted atomic drop by Bret. Middle rope elbow drop by Bret, number
three is Butch Reed. Flying Forearm to Bret but in comes Reed. Reed tries to
eliminate Santana, Santana survives the attack of the two heels. Reed nails a
middle rope axe handle double elbow with Santana being taken down again. Number
four is Neidhart, Santana is surrounded by The Hart Foundation. Reed and The
Hart Foundation decimate Santana, backbreaker and middle rope elbow
combination.
Santana
continues to be worked on by The Hart Foundation, number five is Jake Roberts.
Butch Reed is dumped out of the ring.
Butch Reed
Has Been Eliminated By Roberts!
Roberts
hammers The Hart Foundation, The Hart Foundation bang heads. Roberts calls for
the DDT, Bret is staggering. Neidhart saves Bret from the DDT, Bret piledrivers
Santana. Number six is Harley Race, elbows to Roberts. Roberts is almost thrown
out but Roberts survives, Roberts eats a headbutt from Race. Number seven is
Brunzell of The Killer Bees. We have a pile up, every man desperately trying to
dump the other’s out of the ring. Number eight is Sam Houston. The Hart
Foundation hurl Santana out to the floor!
Tito
Santana Has Been Eliminated By The Hart Foundation!
Number nine
is Danny Davis, Houston tees off on Davis. Right hands in the corner, eye rake
by Davis. Davis eats a back suplex from Roberts, Davis holds onto the ropes to
survive the DDT. Number ten is Boris Zhukov, nothing much happens. Number
eleven is Magnificent Muraco, Zhukov is thrown out by Roberts and Brunzell!
Boris
Zhukov Has Been Eliminated By Roberts & Brunzell!
Number
twelve is Volkoff, Davis and Volkoff double team Houston. Harley Race is dumped
out by Muraco.
Harley Race
Has Been Eliminated By Muraco!
Bret and
Roberts struggle in the corner, Muraco chops Volkoff. Number thirteen is
Hacksaw Jim Duggan, huge cheers for Duggan. Race smashes Duggan in the face,
Duggan gets distracted before entering the ring. Duggan begins attacking
everything in sight, we have number fourteen and it is Outlaw Ron Bass. Bass
clubs Muraco, Bret and Brunzell do battle. Roberts decimates Davis, Volkoff
saves Davis from elimination. Volkoff tosses out Brunzell!
Jumpin Jim
Brunzell Has Been Eliminated By Volkoff!
Number
fifteen is B Brian Blair, Blair goes after The Hart Foundation. Duggan and Bass
square off, eye rake by Bass to survive being eliminated. Number sixteen is
Hillbilly Jim. Jim throws Neidhart over the top rope with ease with a backdrop.
Jim
Neidhart Has Been Eliminated By Hillbilly Jim!
Number
seventeen is Dino Bravo, Sam Houston is thrown to the floor, we did not catch
who throw out Houston but Vince and Jesse believe it was Ron Bass.
Sam Houston
Has Been Eliminated By Ron Bass!
Number
eighteen is The Ultimate Warrior, Muraco tosses out Bret Hart.
Bret Hart
Has Been Eliminated By Muraco!
Number
nineteen is One Man Gang, Gang and Roberts do battle. Gang tosses out Blair
with one hand, Gang tosses out Roberts too!
Jake
Roberts & Brian Blair Have Been Eliminated By One Man Gang!
Number
twenty is JYD, Volkoff hammers away on Duggan before Duggan tosses out Volkoff.
One Man Gang throws out Hillbilly Jim for his third elimination.
Nikolai
Volkoff Has Been Eliminated By Jim Duggan!
Hillbilly
Jim Has Been Eliminated By One Man Gang!
Danny Davis
Has Been Eliminated By Jim Duggan!
Ultimate
Warrior Has Been Eliminated By One Man Gang!
JYD Has
Been Eliminated By Outlaw Ron Bass!
Ron Bass
Has Been Eliminated By Muraco!
All these
eliminations happened back to back, Muraco and Duggan are beaten down by One
Man Gang and Dino Bravo. Duggan is squished in the corner, Bravo holds One Man
Gang and One Man Gang clotheslines Muraco over the top rope.
Muraco Has
Been Eliminated By One Man Gang!
Gang clubs
down Duggan, Duggan eats a double clothesline. Bravo holds Duggan against the
ropes, One Man Gang knocks over Bravo by mistake, we are down to two!
Dino Bravo
Has Been Eliminated BY One Man Gang!
One Man Gang
chokes Duggan on the top rope, clubbing blows by Gang. Duggan is weak, One Man
Gang charges at the ropes, Duggan lowbridges One Man Gang by pulling down the
ropes, Hacksaw Jim Duggn is your inaugural Royal Rumble Winner and a worthy
winner at that!
For a first
time event, they are going to be growing pains but this was a lot of fun for
the time given, you had plenty of top WWF superstars in the match with the
crowd coming alive for the likes of Duggan, Roberts, and JYD. The drama was
there and the fans were loving. A great first showing and no wonder this is a
concept that has stood the test of time.
Winner:
Hacksaw Jim Duggan!
The Islanders W/ Bobby The Brain Heenan vs The Young
Stallions
Tama and
Powers begin the match, Tama cowers from Powers, laughing at the young
stallion. Eye rake by Tama, elbows to the head. Powers leapfrogs Tama, rights
and lefts. Scoop slam, Tama rolls out to the floor. Tama asks for a handshake,
Power catches Tama. Atomic drop, right hand from Roma, arm-wrench from Powers.
Tama grabs the hair of Powers, Powers misses a corner splash. In comes Haku but
in comes Roma. Both men trade arm-wrenches, Haku Irish whips Roma and nails a
shoulder block. Arm-drag by Haku, stomps from Haku.
Crossbody
from Roma, tag to Powers. Double reverse elbow on Haku for two, armbar from
Powers. Eye rake by Haku, tag to Tama. Snapmare and elbow to the head, scoop
slam. Tama misses an elbow drop, Powers is dragged to The Islander corner
though. Haku and Powers clothesline another one down, tag to Roma. Roma pummels
and backdrops Tama, shot to Haku. Dropkick to Tama for two, Haku saves Tama.
Roma attacks Tama but goes off the ropes, Haku lowbridges Roma who tweaks his
knee on the outside. Roma writhes around in pain and cannot make it back into
the ring, The Islanders win the first fall.
Roma has to
start the fall despite his injured leg, these are the rules. Tama zeroes in on
the leg immediately, Roma screams out in pain as Tama works the leg. Scoop
slam, Roma blocks the splash with his knees. Tag to Haku, Powers comes in and
hammers Haku. Back drop, two for Powers. Powers whips Haku to the corner, elbow
for two. Irish whip centre of the ring, dropkick by Powers for two. Suplex by
Powers for two, right hands. Irish whip and reverse elbow for two, Haku goes
low on Powers, tag to Tama.
Stomp to the
groin, tag to Haku. Double headbutt, Roma rallies Powers. Irish whip, small
package on Tama for two. Haku chops down Powers, backbreaker for two. Tama gets
tag in, spinning reverse elbow. Chops by Tama, hiptoss for two. Tag to Haku, shots
to the mid-section. Standing dropkick for two, gutwrench suplex for two.
Abdominal stretch, Powers escapes the hold but Haku maintains control with a
stomp. Diving splash misses for Haku, Haku Irish whips Powers. Kick by Powers,
Haku maintains more control. Haku misses a dropkick though, Powers tags Roma.
Haku attacks
the injured leg, elbows to the injured leg. Roma writhes around in pain, Tama
dives down on the legs of Roma. Single leg Boston Crab from Haku, The Islanders
have walked away as the winners of this match.
The crowd
seemed worn out for this match, could also be a case of the audience not caring
about the match, it well could be a mix of both. I did enjoy Roma selling his
leg, the story was established early in the first fall and played into the
finish in the second fall, love my wrestling being simple and easy to follow.
Winners:
The Islanders over The Young Stallions Via Boston Crab!
That was the
first-ever Royal Rumble, this was a strong debut for the Royal Rumble. The
concept was born on this night and received a positive enough response to be
continued annually. What you have to remember is this was on the USA Network
not pay per view but a lot of this card was very strong. Hogan and Andre was a
tremendous angle, Dibiase being a hype man to the biggest rematch of all time,
great things are coming down the line. Rude and Steamboat was fantastic, the
women’s tag team championship match was fun too and the rumble itself had so
many big names, established Jim Duggan as a force to be reckoned with and would
go onto to be one of the cornerstones of the WWF/WWE Calendar on The Road To
Wrestlemania. Thanks for reading and supporting and remember: There’s always
another night!
The bench press record was what kept Dino Bravo his job with the WWF for four more years. That, and being Earthquake's sidekick.
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