Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that has a future shrouded in more mystery than The Revival! It’s time for WWE One Night Stand 2008, the one night of the year where the WWE goes extreme. The feud continues between John Cena and JBL, Bradshaw will not let his rivalry with The Leader Of The Cenation slide. Cena picked up the victory by catching JBL by surprise at Judgement Day but they meet again tonight. Meanwhile on Smackdown, Edge looks to capture the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in his battle with The Undertaker. The championship had been vacated due to Undertaker’s illegal Hell’s Gate manoeuvre and while Undertaker was victorious by count-out in their last encounter, the championship could not be won by count-out. Edge looks to settle the feud with a TLC match for the championship, Edge’s signature match, can The Deadman overcome The Rated R Superstar? We also have Batista looking to avenge his loss at Backlash to Shawn Michaels, the man who retired his mentor Ric Flair and Triple H and Randy Orton look to finish the final chapter in their feud over the WWE Championship.
Flashes of all the top WWE Superstars as on this night, things get extreme. First Blood between JBL and John Cena, Triple H and Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match, Michaels vs Batista in a Stretcher Match and the TLC match between Undertaker and Edge, all the focus on these massive four matches, clips of each man using weapons fill out the promo, it was good but not great.
(Falls Count Anywhere Match) Jeff Hardy vs Umaga
Umaga and Jeff Hardy have kind of fallen out of the WWE Championship picture since Wrestlemania so this should be a return to form for both of these wrestlers and Hardy is the perfect fit for the Extreme Rules concept and with the match being Falls Count Anywhere, I can only imagine what Jeff Hardy will do in this match. Reverse elbow from Umaga to begin, Irish whip to the corner. Hardy goes down hard, stomps to the head. Umaga tries another Irish whip, Whisper In The Wind from Hardy for two. Hardy climbs to the middle rope, Umaga catches the crossbody for a spinning side slam, close two for Umaga. Irish whip from Umaga, Hardy holds onto the ropes. Lowbridging the giant, Hardy nails a plancha for two.
Hardy gets overzealous, Umaga whips Hardy hard into the barricade, They battle their way into the crowd, chairs are dropped on Hardy’s back. Headbutts from Umaga, Hardy picks up a traffic cone but Umaga shakes off the shot to the head. Superkick from Umaga for two, Umaga pummels Hardy into one of the boxes by the stage, Umaga misses his running hip attack. Hardy showers Umaga with a fire extinguisher, Umaga and Hardy begin battling by a corridor. Umaga misses a chair to the head, Hardy slides down the barrister of the stairs and clotheslines Umaga for two.
Hardy lands worse from the attack, they battle at the concessions area. Hardy meets a bin head first, two for Umaga. Umaga punches and kicks Hardy to outside the arena, Hardy meets another one of the loading boxes. Two for Umaga, Hardy’s face meets the back of a truck. Hardy smashes Umaga into a truck door, two for Hardy. The two battle over to a truck with a ladder on the back, Hardy begins climbing to the top of the truck. Umaga grabs the leg of Hardy, Hardy kicks off Umaga. Hardy climbs to the top, Swanton Bomb off the top of the truck, Hardy wins the match.
Nice little opening match from Hardy and Umaga, the two have a lot of chemistry with one another. Hardy is reaching peak popularity in the WWE by this point, you can hear the fans screaming for him throughout the match. Umaga is an awesome big man too, so agile and so believable in his role, the two batter one another with some nice spots mixed in there, the superkick off the traffic cone shot and the clothesline sliding down the banister. So, fun opening match, not much in terms of actual wrestling but entertaining enough to put a smile on everyone’s face in the arena.
Winner: Jeff Hardy over Umaga Via Swanton Bomb!
(Five-Way Singapore Cane Match) Big Show vs Chavo Guerrero vs CM Punk vs John Morrison vs Tommy Dreamer
Each corner of the ring has a Singapore Cane in its corner, the winner of this match will challenge the ECW Champion Kane at Night Of Champions. Everyone jumps Big Show, smart strategy. Show shakes it off though, headbutts and slams from The Giant. Show misses and elbow drop, Punk and Morrison combine to take off Show’s head. Dreamer DDT, Frog Splash from Chavo. Each man runs up for the kendo sticks, Show is like a giant pinata. Everyone whips Show relentlessly, Show is clotheslined to the floor. Punk and Chavo pair off by the announce tables, Chavo hits the famous Basketball/Football Player Man, no clue was not paying attention to what sport he played.
Chavo is beneath the player who has the kendo stick, Chavo eats it to the head. Show tosses Morriosn around the ring. Show picks up the steel steps, Morrison chop blocks Show who cuts his head open off the steel steps. Punk powerslams Chavo for two, Morrison smashes Punk with the kendo stick. Dreamer nails a pumphandle suplex with a kendo stick on Morrison. Dreamer blocks a GTS, applies the Texas Cloverleaf but Morrison saves Punk. We have a tower of doom spot with four men down before Big Show awakens with his face covered in blood, Bam Neely and The Miz are battered by The Big Show.
Kendo stick shots for Morriosn who tried a plancha, Punk, Dreamer and Chavo are waffled with the kendo stick. It’s a savage beating for everyone involved, Dreamer tries to whack Show. Show blocks the kendo stick shot, Chokeslam from Show. Show stands tall, Show picks up Dreamer. Dreamer is in the corner, Show has the kendo stick. Dreamer is cracked in the skull, Show covers with his foot and we have your challenger for Night Of Champions.
That was fun, loved the psychology of the early parts of the match, Show’s cut was nasty but boy, it was needed for the story they were telling. Show unleashes his anger, Show gets angry and nobody is safe. It was all about Show in the last five minutes and that is what you needed if you are building up a monster, I am sure Show didn’t enjoy being cut open but it was a great visual. Looking forward to Show vs Kane at Night Of Champions, cannot wait for that match.
Winner: Big Show over Everyone Else Via Kendo Stick To The Head!
(First Blood Match) JBL vs John Cena
The feud continues between Cena and JBL, a first blood match as these two despise one another, I buy into hook, line and sinker. We begin with both men ripping off the turnbuckles from their respective corners. Cena talks trash to JBL, JBL and Cena begin trading blows. Low kicks from JBL, clubbing blows from the loudmouth Texan. Cena avoids a big boot, shoulder block from Cena. JBL rolls to the floor, mounted punches from Cena. JBL manages to reverse an Irish whip and send Cena to the floor, elbow and hard right hand by JBL. JBL tries to send Cena into the exposed turnbuckle, Cena blocks but JBL maintains control with a reverse elbow. JBL scores with big right hands and boots to the head of Cena. JBL grinds Cena’s face off the barricade, anything to rip open Cena’s face.
Cena battles back on the ramp, big right hands from Cena. Eye rake by JBL, massive big boot from JBL. JBL grabs a chair from ringside, Cena is placed against the ringpost, Cena ducks the chair shot and sends JBL to the announce table. Microphone shot from JBL, Cena is down once more. JBL batters Cena with the microphone, JBL continues to talk trash. JBL misses the microphone shot, shoulder blocks from Cena. Spinning out side slam from Cena, Five Knuckle Shuffle from Cena. FU is avoided, JBL lands on the apron and a slingshot from JBL leaves both men down. Boots from JBL, Cena meets the ringpost head first.
JBL grabs the steel steps, Cena dodges the steps to the head. Cena’s head meets the barricade, crowd comes alive for Cena. JBL tries a DDT on the steel steps, Cena blocks and JBL knocks the air out of himself. Cena has the microphone, JBL is smashed in the head with the microphone. No blood, JBL’s face is raked off the steel steps, still no blood. In the ring, JBL avoids a Cena attack and sends Cena into the exposed turnbuckle. Cena ducks a clothesline and bulldogs JBL onto a chair, JBL reveals a chain that was hidden in his towel. Wham to the ribs of Cena, JBL wraps the chain around his fist. Cena dodges the chain, FU to JBL, planting him in the middle of the ring.
Boot by JBL, Cena is tied up in the ropes. Cena has no defence, JBL looks to capitalise. JBL has a whip, Cena has nowhere to go. JBL gets too cocky, low blow by Cena. STFU using the chain and JBL begins to bleed from the mouth due to the chain being wrapped around his neck.
I loved this match, I loved the laser focus of JBL on opening up the head of John Cena. Every attack that JBL inflicted on Cena was on the head, from exposing turnbuckles to hiding chains to bust open Cena. Thought it was tremendous work from JBL on that part, Cena was very good when it came to selling his ass off for JBL, thought they could have stretched out the blood a bit, JBL was bleeding the second the chain was wrapped around the neck, thought there could have been more of a struggle perhaps a close-up of JBL having the chain around his neck and then, spouting blood but that is a very minor nitpick.
Winner: John Cena over JBL via First Blood!
(I Quit Match) Melina vs Beth Phoenix
Melina and Beth use to be on the same page before Beth began to bully Melina because nobody compares to The Glamazon. Melina starts off with a knee to the ribs and a guillotine choke. Beth breaks out and nails a powerslam, backbreaker from Beth into a submission before Melina uses her flexibility to escape the hold. Melina nails a bulldog off the top rope, Melina applies an Indian deathlock into a Muta Lock. Beth crawls to the floor to break the hold, Melina tosses Beth into the ring. Beth spears Melina to the corner, Melina gets stomped in the corner. Beth pulls back on Melina’s hair using the ropes, Argentine Backbreaker from Beth.
Melina refuses to give up as Beth stretches her jaw over and over. Melina begins to battle back, Melina attempts a headscissors, Beth counters before Melina wheelbarrows through, Beth hits the turnbuckle hard. Melina transitions to a Fujiwara armbar out of a headscissors. Beth powers up but Melina rolls into a crossbreker armbar. Beth powers up and slams Melina hard to the mat. Wheelbarrow life into The Glam Slam, chickenwing from Beth. Melina is crying out in pain but she will not say I quit, Beth wrenches back with Melina crying out in pain, Beth transitions to a choke and Melina is forced to tap.
Like an awkward tennis match, this is filled with a tonne of screaming that I would rather not have to listen to that trash. However, Melina and Beth are two quality athletes, Melina’s flexibility is one of her main strengths and I love they worked that into the finish, that choke was God damn nasty but the bigger question is can I buy into Melina as a babyface? We shall see as the months continue!
Winner: Beth Phoenix over Melina via Submission!
(Stretcher Match) Shawn Michaels vs Batista
Batista feels lied to, Batista told HBK that if Michaels was lying, The Animal would come for The Heartbreak Kid. That day has come, Batista is here and they will meet in a stretcher match. The Animal promises one thing, to inflict pain on Shawn Michaels.
Michaels charges Batista, knowing Batista is ready to explode, Batista does see Michaels coming though, clothesline to the floor. Not good for HBK, Batista drops Michaels onto the stretcher. Batista attempts an Irish whip into the steel steps, Michaels reverses the Irish whip. Batista’s arm is the target, enzuigiri against the steel steps. Michael uses the stretcher to shove over Batista, HBK looks to ram The Animal once more. Michaels tries placing Batista on the stretcher, Batista fights it off, Batista Bomb is countered for a guillotine choke. Batista is choked out, Michaels begins wheeling the stretcher.
Batista fights his way out of it, spinebuster onto the apron from HBK. Clothesline turns HBK inside out, running powerslam from The Animal. Batista attempts a spear but HBK sees it coming, flying forearm from HBK. Elbow Drop from HBK, clothesline from Batista thwarts Sweet Chin Music. Batista Bomb is blocked once more, Sweet Chin Music lands Batista on the stretcher at ringside. Batista rolls off the stretcher much to Michaels’ frustration. Batista begins to fight, Michaels rams The Animal repeatedly with the stretcher until Batista blocks the stretcher. Michaels eats the stretcher with his jaw, Batista shoves the stretcher hard into Michaels.
Spear by Batista, Batista Bomb from The Animal. Batista drags Michaels to the stretcher, Chris Jericho is here at ringside. Jericho tries supporting Michaels, pumping up The Heartbreak Kid. Jericho might have just saved Michaels in this match, Batista is thinking of punishing Michaels more. Michaels pulls himself up to fight Batista, Michaels tries a sweet chin music but it is not enough to even hurt The Animal. Batista talks trash to Michaels before signalling for another Batista Bomb, Batista drags Michaels to the stretcher. Jericho stops the stretcher, Batista is astonished by Jericho’s interference. Batista grabs the steel steps, looking to end HBK. Spinebuster on the steel steps, Michaels is finished and the stretcher is pushed over the finish line.
Thought this was great, this is what the feud between these two needed to be at this point. Batista was hell bent on revenge, Michaels had lied to Batista about his injury, Michaels had taken away Ric Flair from Batista. Batista needed the win and needed to punish Michaels, Michaels sells the beating like only he can when it comes to the WWE roster at this time, untouchable is Michaels. Loved the Flair callback with Batista’s own twist, it was a very strong emotional contest which might have stole the show.
Winner: Batista over Shawn Michaels!
(WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match) Triple H © vs Randy Orton
Intense stare-down from the second Triple H emerges from the curtain, Orton’s facials are tremendous once more. Orton looks jumpy, hesitant to engage with the champion. The Game shows no sign of nerves, Orton attacks first though. Triple H is tossed to the floor, Orton is sent into the steel steps though. Triple H continues to batter Orton around the ringside area, we return to the ring. Big right hands from Triple H, stomps from The Game. Triple H rakes at the face of Orton, Orton is thrown shoulder-first into the ringpost. Make it double, Triple H attempts a clothesline but Orton nails a dropkick.
Triple H sidesteps Orton who falls to the floor, right hands by The Game. Triple H looks to do some damage with the announce table, mounted right hand punches from Triple H. Pedigree and RKO are stopped on the table, Orton drapes Triple H over the table and DDTs the champion to the floor. Triple H survives the ten count, Orton decides its time to rip up the ringside mat. RKO is prevented, Orton hits the ringpost shoulder first. Orton controls the match in the ring though, clothesline to the back of the head. Stomps to the legs and a knee drop to the face, Triple H gets smashed with the steel steps right in the face.
Orton brings in some extension cord wire, Triple H battles back to avoid being choked but a boot from Orton allows the joke to take place. Triple H collapses to the mat, Triple H reaches his feet at eight. Orton attempts an RKO, Triple H throws Orton to the floor, Orton mouths to the referee his collarbone is broken. Triple H looks for his trusty sledgehammer, shot to the head of Orton.
Hard to talk about this one considering the injury, it was short and very disappointing as Orton was on a phenomenal run as a heel in WWE and the look on Triple H’s face shows that he felt awful for what happened, they can call it a no remorse look all they want, that is the look of someone who knows they fucked up a match. Poor Orton, hope that The Legend Killer comes back soon, Raw will be very heel light now.
Winner: Triple H over Randy Orton!
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Edge vs The Undertaker
Taker’s career could be over if The Deadman loses this match, this is what Edge wants Taker to sacrifice in his bid to become champion. It’s a TLC match, the match Edge made famous, can Taker overcome Edge? Edge charges Taker which leads to pummels and right hands from The Deadman. Elbows in the corner and a big choke from Big Evil, Edge is a punching bag in this match. Old School and a massive boot, Edge manages to take control and begins stacking tables at ringside. Taker grabs a ladder and rams it into the head of The Rated-R-Superstar. Edge sets up a ladder in the ring, Taker yanks down Edge.
Taker is sent into a ladder on the top rope by Edge, Taker is staggered. Edge returns the favour, Taker begins climbing but Edge meets him on top of the ladder, both men end up falling off the ladder. Edge gets a ladder booted into his face, Edge spills out to the floor. Taker grabs another chair, Edge takes the chair across his back. Edge is flattened by The Deadman. Taker attempts his apron leg drop but Edge uses a chair to block, chop block from Edge. Taker battles back, looking for a Last Ride onto a ladder but Edge uses a low blow to maintain control. Edge sets up Taker on a table by the announce table, splash through the table by Edge.
Edge tries reaching the championship, Taker pulls down Edge but Edge manages to nail a Spear. Taker has his leg placed inside a ladder, Edge smashes Taker’s knee with a chair, preventing Taker from being able to use both his feet to climb the ladder. Edge grabs a twenty foot ladder, Taker is walloped with two chair shots to the head. Edge eats a low blow, no conchairto. Edge rolls to the apron, Chokeslam onto the bridge ladder. Taker is alone in the ring, in comes Hawkins and Ryder. Taker is beaten down, the two setup a table in the ring.
Taker fights off Hawkins and Ryder, Hawkins eats a Chokeslam through a table at ringside, Ryder meets his demise with a Chokeslam from the apron through a table at ringside. Edge Spears Taker off the apron to the floor, Edge begins climbing the ladder. Taker stumbles on one feet, Last Ride through the two tables stacked atop one another. La Familia is laying in ruins, here comes Chavo and Bam Neely. Neely and Chavo miss a conchairto, Undertaker lays out everyone with chair shots but Edge is stirring. Edge waits until Taker is at the top of the ladder, Taker goes crashing through four tables at ringside, Edge is your new world heavyweight champion, The Undertaker is fired from WWE!
This what a lot of fun for a main event, everyone loves tables/ladders/chairs. Edge and La Familia were a great unit, stacking the deck against Undertaker, Taker never stopped selling the leg and stood up like that last gunslinger firing until it was all too much, Edge barely escaped from The Deadman. Undertaker fought from underneath bringing the pain to Edge, Edge used everything he could to try and trade bombs with Taker, it was a good main event after the fiasco that was the prior match. Also loved how they did everything within their power to convince Taker would overcome the odds when all was over, everything was teased to believe you into thinking The Deadman would rise up one more time and overcome La Familia, another strength of the match was how Taker was beaten, no clean win for Edge allowing the feud to continue and be stretched out due to Edge not gaining that clean win over Taker, good stuff.
Winner: Edge over Undertaker Via Retrieval Of The Belt!
That was WWE’s One Night Stand 2008, a very entertaining pay per view from WWE. Let’s address the controversy first, sad for Orton being in that incredible run where his character work was fantastic and have it snatched from him, very sad. The pay per view opened with a very entertaining hardcore style match with Hardy and Umaga, they may not have used weapons but they explored the arena and the finish was more than satisfying. The ECW Championship was a lot of fun too with Big Show getting a great rub, that visual of the pissed off Giant wreaking havoc on everyone in his way was awesome, I am looking forward to the encounter between the two monsters in ECW. Cena and JBL had great psychology, Big Match John pulled it out while JBL worked over the head, taped his fists and snuck weapons into the ring via his towel to beat up Cena and bust him open, it was so much fun. Melina and Beth had a very physical I Quit match, Beth using Melina’s flexibility to the fullest, some great looking moves in this match.
Moving onto Michaels and Batista, a strong match in terms of story-telling. Loved the anger of Batista coming through in his performance, Michaels was great at selling the ass-whooping that The Animal handed him throughout the match. Orton and Triple H was disappointing but nothing could be done there and then you had Taker vs Edge, Edge throwing everything at Taker and surviving through the skin of his teeth, Edge was not the better man, Edge did not deserve it and I would enjoy nothing more than watching Undertaker seek his revenge on Edge, perfect heel work from Edge. Thanks for reading and supporting, just remember: There’s always another night!