Hello and welcome to another dominating edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews! The Raw after Wrestlemania continues its yearly tradition of being awesome but I want to take you back to a time where things were not so good for Raw. That's right, we are entering the brand-exclusive pay per view era where Raw and Smackdown have their own pay per views. Tonight, we look at WWE's Bad Blood 2003 where Kevin Nash battles Triple H in a Hell in a Cell to end their feud, Scott Steiner faces Test for the services of Stacy and Chris Jericho tries to defeat Goldberg in a match that has quite the fun backstory. Let's rock!
An emphasis on the past, Nash and Triple H, Austin and Bischoff, Jericho and Goldberg. They put over the cell as the one structure you do not want to be inside and we even have Mick Foley as the special referee. Good stuff from WWE, hyping the big matches of the night. JR & Jerry Lawler welcome us to Bad Blood from Texas.
The Dudley Boyz vs Thuggin & Buggin W/ Theodore Long
On Heat, Nowinski and Mack cornered D-Von, asking D-Von how it feels to be told what to do by the white man. Think of it as The 2003 version of The Nation of Domination, Mack eats a clothesline and a back elbow from D-Von for two, Mack jawbreakers D-Von and in comes Nowinski. Tag to Bubba, lock-up and side headlock by Bubba, shoulder block by Bubba. Right hands by Bubba, Long distracts Bubba and Mack clotheslines Bubba. Bubba slaps and jabs at Nowinski, back elbow and a mat slam by Bubba. Mack and Nowinski are splashed by Bubba, The Dudley Boyz control the ring.
Nowinski clubs Bubba in the ring, blind tag by D-Von. Clothesline and splash combo for two, D-Von misses Nowinski in the corner, D-Von decks Mack but Mack trips D-Von as the referee is distracted with Nowinski. Tag to Mack, elbow for two. Reverse chinlock by Mack, D-Von fires up but Mack squashes D-Von with a spinebuster for two. Tag to Nowinski, D-Von dodges the middle rope elbow. Bubba clotheslines Nowinski, back drop by Bubba. Mack is hurled to the floor, sidewalk slam by Bubba for two. Nowinski dodges a Bubba Bomb, boot by Bubba. Crossbody but Mack makes the save.
D-Von wipes out Mack, Nowinski misses Bubba with his mask. Right hands and bionic elbow by Bubba, Mack looks for The Blackout and Bubba sends Mack into Nowinski, What's Up Headbutt by The Dudley Boyz. D-Von is asked to get the tables, Long tries messing with D-Von's head. Mack clotheslines D-Von to the floor but Nowinski cracks Bubba in the face with the mask, Nowinski & Mack win the match.
It was ok, Mack & Nowinski are not much in the ring. Teasing tension between The Dudleys is never a good sign, they have not been back together for a year yet and neither were ready to go separate at this point. The match was fine as an opener, not a big fan of the storyline but it is not the end of the world.
Winners: Nowinski & Mack over The Dudley Boyz via Shenanigans!
Austin & Bischoff are competing against one another, the first contest is a Burping Contest. Three burps to decide the winner, poor comedy really. Austin wins the contest, we will have to go onto event two.
Test vs Scott Steiner
This match is for the managerial servies of Stacy Keibler, Test has been a jerk to Stacy for a number of months, putting Stacy in harm's way and trying to cheat on the woman. Stacy comes down to the ring to watch the match, Test asks for a kiss on the rampway. Test pulls Stacy off the apron, Steiner leaps off the apron onto Test, failing miserably but Steiner is clubbing the crap out of Test, Test begs for mercy as Steiner tells Test to go fuck himself. Clothesline and elbow by Steiner, push-ups as Test begs for mercy and hides behind Stacy.
Right hand by Test floors Steiner, Test struts before stomping Steiner. Test tees off on Steiner, corner clothesline and scoop slam by Test. Sleeper by Test, Steiner fires up but Test cuts off Steiner with a back elbow, Test blows Stacy a kiss but jumps into a belly to belly suplex. Clotheslines by Steiner, huge powerslam by Steiner. Chops by Steiner, right hands and ten punches in the corner. Test counters Steiner for a full-nelson slam for two, Steiner slips out of a pumphandle slam, Steiner dodges The Big Boot for a reverse DDT for two.
Test shoves Steiner into the turnbuckle, pumphandle slam by Test for two. Test has Stacy, Stacy slaps Test hard. Steiner walks into a Big Boot, Steiner kicks out of The Big Boot. Test has a hissy fit, Test grabs a chair from ringside. Stacy is shoved to the floor, Steiner dodges the chair, Test wallops himself with the chair and Steiner drops Test with a Complete Shot for the win.
Love me some Scott Steiner but this match sucks as does every match that Scott Steiner has had since joining The WWE. Felt like a Raw match, the ringwork added to that feeling and it was ok, nothing more and nothing less.
Winner: Scott Steiner over Test via Complete Shot!
Eric Bischoff/Austin Segment
Bischoof did research for the pie-eating contest, Bischoff wants the best for his pie-eating contest. Austin meets the young whores that Bischoff has picked, Bischoff wants to go first in this round of the contest, Austin wants to be first and Bischoff does not agree. Bischoff is allowed to go first but Austin decides who Bischoff will be with, Bischoff smiles saying this cannot go wrong, oh Bischoff you poor fool.
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Booker T vs Christian (C)
Despite Christian winning the battle royal made little sense as Patterson saw that Booker T won the match, Christian has cut his hair and added a certain edge to his character. Booker T in my eyes, has been handled so poorly since gaining momentum with Goldust it is not even funny.
Lock-up, Booker shoves back Christian and we have a clean break. Arm drag by Christian, lock-up and side headlock by Booker, shoulder block and hiptoss by Booker. Scoop slam and side headlock by Booker, Christian shoves back Booker into a corner, shoulder thrusts by Christian. Back drop by Booker for two, spinebuster by Booker for two. Christian rolls to the apron, poke to the eye and a hotshot by Captain Charisma. Christian slams Booker into the steel steps, two for the champion. Reverse chinlock by Christian, Booker fires up but Christian stops Booker with forearms and a back elbow. Christian is on the middle rope, Booker blocks the double axe handle for a flapjack.
Booker battles back, flying forearm and clotheslines by Booker. Sidewalk slam for two, side shuffle kick by Booker for two. Christian tries for a reverse DDT, Booker blocks and counters with his own reverse DDT. Sunset flip by Booker, Christian rolls through for a pin using the ropes for two, uranage by Christian for two. Small package for two, Christian has Booker on the apron, Booker nails an apron Scissors Kick. Missile dropkick for two, eye poke by Christian. Harlem sidekick by Booker, Spinaroonie. Christian powders, seeing The Scissors Kick coming and Christian runs up the ramp.
The referee tells Christian he will forfeit his championship if he tries leaving the arena, Christian breaks the count and waffles Booker with the championship. Booker T wins the match by disqualification and that finish sucks. Killed the crowd and if the referee can make Christian forfeit the championship on a count-out, why did the referee not take the championship from Christian when he intentionally got himself disqualified? DUD, crowd chants bullshit and rightly so, this was dumb.
Winner: Booker T over Christian via Disqualification!
Redneck Triathlon Part 2
Pie-Eating contest time, Austin outsmarts Bischoff as Austin picks the kind of pie that Bischoff was not expecting, Bischoff said he liked older women, Austin gives Bischoff the mature women that Bischoff would like. Out comes none other than Mae Young, Bischoff feigns puking. Bischoff does not want to lose to Austin so he decides he will have to kiss Mae Young.
Young sucks the face of Bischoff, Bischoff is mortified. Young low blows Bischoff and Young decides to strip showing off her lingerie. Bronco buster on Bischoff and it is the most disgusting thing you might ever see in your lifetime. Austin Stunners Mae Young, Austin loses the round as Bischoff is irate on the floor. God, that was rotten.
(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Kane & Rob Van Dam (C) vs La Resistance
Kane is a troubled man, there is something wrong with Kane. Kane is giving RVD the silent treatment and it looks like the team could be on the verge of breaking up as a team. La Resistance make fun of Texas and George W. Bush. Dupree & RVD start, Dupree shoves off RVD and dances, side headlock by RVD. Roll-up by RVD for two, shoving contest with RVD nailing Dupree with a step-over spinning heel kick. Middle rope crossbody by RVD for two, RVD looks to tag Kane and Kane does not move. Small package for two, shoulder thrusts by RVD before Slyvain hotshots RVD and Dupree DDTs RVD for two. Kane saves RVD, La Resistance put the boots to RVD for two.
Reverse chinlock by Dupree, RVD battles back but Dupree pulls down RVD by the hair. RVD wriggles free with an enzuigiri, hot-tag to Kane. Clotheslines and big boots all around, right hands to Grenier, Dupree walks into a throat toss. Sidewalk slam to Grenier for two, Kane executes his diving clothesline on Grenier, Dupree saves his partner. La Resistance drop Kane with a double neckbreaker, Kane sits up and clotheslines La Resistance. Diving thrustkick by RVD, Grenier takes out Kane against the ringpost.
Baseball slide by RVD onto Grenier, Dupree is dumped to the floor. RVD takes out Kane with a tope con hilo, Bonsoit by Grenier & Dupree and we have new world tag team champions, Kane looks on in shock from the floor.
The crowd reaction says it all, nobody wanted that to happen. Dupree & Grenier are alright but they are being pushed so fast to the top of the tag team division and I feel they are not ready for this kind of push, Vince loves the gimmick. This would lead to Kane's heel turn where the mask would come off, Kane & RVD had be fine and entertaining as tag team champions but both men deserved to be singles stars so this is for the best but La Resistance as the champions? Nah, I am not buying it for a second.
Winners: La Resistance over RVD & Kane via Bonsoir!
Chris Jericho vs Goldberg
Juicy bit of backstory to this match, the two men were in WCW and Jericho had a feud with Goldberg going where Jericho would insult Goldberg and beat an impostor Goldberg in the hopes that it would lead to a match between the two, the political powers that be in WCW were in Goldberg's ear and claimed that Jericho was not a big enough star to face Goldberg. Fast-forward to now where Jericho is a big star in The WWE and Goldberg is facing off against Jericho, Jericho would humiliate Goldberg in the weeks leading to the match but now, there was nowhere to go for Jericho, Jericho had to face the music.
Lock-up and both men spill to the floor, Goldberg clubs Jericho. Jericho hides nehind the referee, huge knees by Goldberg. Jericho tries a crossbody but Goldberg catches and drops Jericho with a slam. Jericho is tossed across the ring, Jericho spits on Goldberg. Right hands by Jericho, Goldberg shoves down Jericho. Goldberg military presses Jericho onto the top rope, huge kick by Goldberg. Jericho is dropped on the barricade, Goldberg measures Jericho for a Spear, Jericho avoids The Spear and Goldberg hurts his shoulder after The Spear.
Goldberg is bleeding and Jericho goes after the arm, missile dropkick into the shoulder for two. Jericho stomps and wrenches the arm, shoulder block by Goldberg but Jericho regains control with a single arm DDT and a Fujiwara armbar. Goldberg boots Jericho, shoulder block by Goldberg. Inverted atomic drop and a roundhouse kick, Goldberg Irish whips Jericho and Jericho counters for a leaping single arm DDT for two. Judo throw by Goldberg, Goldberg misses a punch and Jericho scores with a dropkick. Modified bulldog and Lionsault for two, second modified bulldog. Jericho tries for a Lionsault but Goldberg slams Y2J.
Spear by Goldberg, Goldberg winces in pain. Goldberg calls for The Jackhammer, Jericho pushes the referee and Jericho low blows Goldberg. Walls of Jericho, Goldberg kicks off Jericho. Second Spear by Goldberg, Jackhammer by Goldberg and this match is over ladies and gentlemen.
Not a great match by any stretch of the imagination but solid, Goldberg continues to dominate while Jericho builds an entertaining match around Goldberg injuring himself with The Spear throught the barricade. Poor Goldberg was being booed by the fans again, that is two pay per views where Goldberg has been booed despite the babyface.
Winner: Goldberg over Chris Jericho via Jackhammer!
Shawn Michaels vs Ric Flair
Ric Flair had to face Triple H, Michaels convinced Flair to give it his best shot. Michaels wanted to face Flair on pay per view, Flair accepted the challenge of Michaels. Flair would sucker punch Michaels in a tag match, Michaels believes that he is every bit as good as Flair, a battle between two of the very best of all-time. Is Michaels in the same league as Flair? Is Michaels a wannabe? Is Michaels the very best or is it Flair?
Lock-up, side headlock by Flair, Flair shoves Michaels and struts, lock-up and strut from Michaels, slap and woo from Michaels, Flair is not happy with such disrespect. Flair goes to the ropes to escape Michaels, huge slap from Michaels. Drop toehold into a front chancery, right hand by Michaels and Flair is on the floor, plancha by Michaels. Flair suckers in Michaels for chops, side headlock by Michaels and a nice shoulder block before Michaels grabs another side headlock. Flair pushes Michaels into the corner; more chops by Flair. Michaels answers with chops of his own, ten punches in the corner and a huge right hand by Michaels.
Michaels has words with Earl Hebnar and Flair picks his moment, huge chop block and stomps to the knees by Flair. Flair knees Michaels in the leg, Flair drops all his weight on Michaels' leg. Figure Four by Flair, Michaels struggles for quite some time before reaching the ropes. Enzuigiri by Michaels, more chops by Flair but Michaels fires up, back drop by Michaels. Back elbow by Flair cuts off Michaels, Flair is climbing. This does not work for Flair, Michaels yanks Flair off the top rope. Flair blocks Sweet Chin Music, Figure Four is blocked for a small package for two, figure four by Michaels.
Michaels rolls-up Flair for two, Flair reverse the pin and holds the tights for two. Flair flip, Flair walks into a clothesline from Michaels, Michaels pulls out a table. Flair tries a suplex to the floor, Michaels blocks and lays Flair on the table. Randy Orton eats a massive Sweet Chin Music from Michaels, huge splash by Michaels through the table. Cover and Flair kicks out at two, right hands by Michaels to the head of Flair. Flair low blows Michaels and the referee, Flair struts as he surveys the scene. Michaels comes back with chops and a back body drop.
Flying forearm, kip-up and a scoop slam. Elbow drop by Michaels, Sweet Chin Music by Michaels but out of nowhere, Randy Orton cracks Michaels with a chair to the head and Flair is placed on top of Michaels, Flair walks away the winner of this match thanks to Randy Orton.
It was good but not great, this match was meant to be a highly-emotional affair with Michaels wanting to win the match more than anything in the world but I never got that feeling from the action. Flair could not deliver those great matches anymore without smoke and mirrors, the great match just did not come together on this night for these two legends. Shame really but there is nothing that can be done about it now.
Winner: Ric Flair over Shawn Michaels via Shenanigans!
Redneck Triathlon Part 3
The singing contest, Bischoff decides to sing his own theme song and begins lip-syncing his own theme song. Austin cuts Bischoff's fun, Austin wants a fair contest. Austin is not happy with Bischoff's rendition, Autsin tells Bischoff that he sucks and that he is a loser. Austin decides to re-do the third round, it's a pig pen fun match. Austin & Bischoff have to fight to throw one another in the pig pen, shenanigans occur and Austin throws Bischoff into the pig pen. It was all filler and not the good kind but they needed to kill time.
(WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match) Kevin Nash vs Triple H (C) (Hell in a Cell Match/ Mick Foley is The Special Referee)
Despite being the most poorly-booked challenger of all-time, Nash has a third crack at Triple H in a Hell in a Cell match. Mick Foley is made special referee as no referee wishes to step between Kevin Nash & Triple H. Triple H would decimate Mick Foley in a Hell in a Cell on Raw before Nash would destroy Triple H. The feud will finally be ending, it could have not come sooner to be honest with you, Nash has been booked like a joke.
Triple H walks into a big boot by Nash, Triple H is flung to the floor. Triple H eats a huge right hand by Nash, clubbing blows by Nash. Hotshot by Triple H, right hands by The Game. Nash shoves Triple H back and Foley takes a bump, knees in the corner by Nash. Back elbow and clothesline to the floor by Nash, Triple H is backed into the ringpost. Triple H is sent crashing into the cage wall, Triple H is back dropped on the floor. Elbows by Nash, sidewalk slam by Nash for two. Huge elbows by Nash for two, Nash has a chair. Nash waffles Triple H with the chair, Nash backs Triple H into the cell wall over and over.
Nash has the steel steps, Triple H dodges the steps. Right hands by Triple H, Nash tastes the steel steps. Nash looks for a powerbomb on the floor, Triple H saves himself using the cage and clubs Nash. Triple H opens a toolbox, Nash blocks a lid shot but Triple H hammers the knee of Nash. Nash is smashed in the head with the hammer, Foley shoves down Triple H asking Triple H to bring it on, Triple H backs away from Foley, Nash is bleeding. Right hands by Triple H, Triple H rakes Nash's face off the cell wall. Triple H is rammed into the cell wall and Nash's face is scarped off the cell wall.
Triple H has a screwdriver, Nash blocks the blow before Triple H goes low and rakes the head of Nash. Triple H pulls out a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire, Nash is hammered in the ribs. Nash blocks the second shot, Triple H is waffled in the head with 2X4. Nash props the 2X4 onto the top turnbuckle, right hands by Nash. Corner clotheslines by Nash, snake eyes on the 2X4. Cover for two, Nash has the steel steps and throws them into the ring. Triple H is begging for mercy, Triple H powders and smashes a wooden crate over Nash's head. Triple H pulls out his trusty sledgehammer, it could be curtains for Nash.
Foley decides this is too much, Triple H decks Foley. Triple H has the steel steps but Nash drop toeholds The Game and the steps smack Triple H in the face, two count for Nash. Nash has a chair, Triple H attacks the knee of Nash, Nash eats a chair shot to the face and Foley takes one too. Foley is up first from the chair shot, Foley has Socko and Foley applies The Mandible Claw to Triple H. Triple H low blows Foley, Nash has the steel steps and cracks both men with the steel steps. Foley is on the apron, Triple H shoves Nash into Foley, Foley smacks his back off the cell wall.
Nash reverses The Pedigree for a catpult into the 2X4, Jacknife Powerbomb by Nash and Triple H kicks out at two and a half. Triple H decimates Nash with the sledgehammer, Pedigree by Triple H and Foley makes the count, Triple H retains the world heavyweight championship.
It was a bloodbath, it was violent with a tonne of weapons involved to make the match all sorts of fun. It was enjoyable, ridiculous in parts? I think that is fair, was there a need for Foley to be bleeding and assaulted by Triple H? Not really, it added to the fun of the match but there was no need for Triple H and Foley to touch. That being said, the match delivers in terms of violence and drama and thankfully, it is the end of the feud which was one-sided to say the least.
Winner: Triple H over Kevin Nash via Pedigree!
That was WWE's Bad Blood of 2003, a show where things did not start rolling until midway through the pay per view. The show clicks for me when Goldberg vs Jericho begins, everything else felt like filler with a bs finish thrown into the Booker T vs Christian match, it just feels like an episode of Raw until we have Goldberg vs Jericho. The last two matches were by no means excellent but they save the show, they have good back and forth action, the last match is brutal in terms of violence which a Hell in a Cell should be so this was a hit and miss show from The WWE. Thanks for reading and remember: There's always another night!