Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac
Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that
continues to operate long after it should have died! Hey it’s WCW Slamboree
1996 and look, they brought back The Battle Bowl concept, kill me now. I hate
this concept, I hate everything about it, it pisses all over every feud they
have going in the company and I am sure these events never did any good
business, they used it at 2 Starrcades in the early 90s and I thought I had
escaped this shite but no how I was once again wrong, I am not even going to
get into the matches. Let’s just get this over with.
Animal & Booker T vs Hawk & Lex Luger
I have hated this three-way feud between these teams
and they just won’t let it die, why do I have to keep being tortured with this
crap, imagine creating a PPV of just tag team matches, no variety whatsoever.
Animal vs Luger to start, Booker is talking shit with Animal. They lock-up, Luger
has Animal in the corner. No clean break from Luger, right hands and clubbing
blows. Powerslam by Luger, Animal pushes Luger to the corner. Shoulder thrusts
by Animal, clothesline by Animal. Powerslam by Animal, flying shoulder block by
Animal. Luger lands a clubbing blow and delivers a suplex but Animal no-sells.
Dropkick and tag to Booker, Animal and Booker are shoving one another. Heel
kick by Booker, knees in the corner.
Luger is whipped to the buckle, boot by Luger but
Booker is too quick. Booker slaps on a reverse chin-lock, Luger elbows his way
out of the hold but Booker lands a kick to the ribs and lands a Scissors Kick.
Hawk makes the save, Luger & Hawk are brawling with one another and of
course, Animal backs up Hawk. Brawl with everyone on the floor, crowd reacts
which is nice. Luger is backing away, Booker T is wiped out by Hawk and the
crowd counts for a double-count-out!
So if you are keeping score, The Road Warriors have
had three horrific matches in a row on PPV, at least they did the JOB in the
last one but this concept sucks and I just want to die already and this was the
first match. Brutal times ahead for me, please pray for me.
The Public Enemy vs The Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan
& Chris Benoit
Sullivan and Benoit hate one another while The Public
Enemy were lucky enough to stay together, Benoit and Rocco Rock to start, they
slap one another. Eye rake by Rocco, big uppercut. Irish whip reversed by
Benoit, flying head-scissors by Rocco. Shove by Benoit, Benoit rakes the eyes
and lands headbutt. Hurricanrana by Rocco, Rocco dances and stomps on Benoit.
Benoit reverses an Irish whip and powerbombs the shit out of Rocco. Benoit
dances and beats the piss out of Rocco, slap across the face. Tag to
Taskmaster, slaps to the chest. Grunge comes in and Benoit takes care of him,
we are on the floor and weapons are flying. Chairs to the head and hold on a
second, a table is just setup ready to use. The fuck is this haha, Rocco places
Taskmaster on the table. Rocco is cut off by a clothesline by Benoit, Rocco
from the apron suplexes Benoit to the floor.
Rocco puts Benoit on the table, Sullivan is on top of
Benoit. Sullivan dodges but Benoit is put through the table by Grunge &
Rocco, Sullivan walks out on Benoit and Benoit is pinned through Grunge holding
down his foot.
Not much of a match really, I liked the physicality as
Benoit always brings the pain, a table bump is always appreciated and it
continues the feud between Benoit & Sullivan.
Winners: The Public Enemy over Benoit &
Sullivan via Splash Through The Table!
Sgt. Craig Pittman W/ Teddy Long & Scott
Steiner vs The Booty Man W/ The Booty Babe & Rick Steiner
The idea of Scott Steiner beating the shite out of
Booty Man pleases me, please give me what I need WCW. Pittman and Booty to
start, fuck this company. Pittman does a series of waistlocks and it’s boring,
Scott comes in and shoulder blocks Booty Man, Booty lands a hip-toss and a knee
before Scott drills Booty with a tiger driver, fuck yes. Pittman is in (Damn
You!), Booty has a wrist-lock and in comes Rick, they lock-up and Pittman lands
a knee and big impact blows. Rick lands a shoulder block and a powerslam,
Pittman German suplexes the shit out of Rick. Rick clubs the life out of
Pittman with a Steinerline, Pittman tags in Scott. Crowd wants to see it
between the two, they lock-up and Scott has Rick in the ropes.
Firemen’s carry by Scott, judo hip throw by Rick.
Waist-locks from both men, Scott lands a massive exploder suplex. Rick lands a
Steinerline, small package by Scott for two. Rick reverses an Irish whip, Scott
lands two clotheslines and goes for a full-nelson. Rick reverses and lands a
dragon suplex, Scott lands a middle rope exploder suplex on Rick, Booty Man is
here. Scott dodges a corner spear, Booty Man hits the ring-post hard. Pittman
is looking for Code Red, Booty Man makes the tag to survive. Rick lands a
German suplex for the win, Scott is disgusted.
Another quick match, Scott vs Rick was awesome, shame
when they actually feuded that Scott could barely move. Some beautifully nasty
bumps in here though, needed more Booty Man being massacred though.
Winners: Rick Steiner & Booty Man over Scott
Steiner & Craig Pittman via German Suplex!
The Blue Bloods vs V.K. Wallstreet & Hacksaw
Duggan vs Regal to start, lots of stalling to begin.
Lock-up, Duggan has Regal in the corner but Regal lands an elbow to the face,
Duggan lands a hip-toss. Wallstreet does not want to tag Duggan, Duggan lands a
clothesline, make it three. Wallstreet is in and Dave Taylor is in too, Taylor
works the arm and tags in Regal. Lots of mat-wrestling here, uppercuts galore.
Duggan is aggressively tagged, Duggan & Wallstreet talk smack to one
another. Regal takes control with a forearm, Duggan & Regal bang heads.
Taylor is tagged in, Duggan decks everyone with right hands. Duggan has a taped
fist, Taylor is knocked out!
Well that was quick and to the point, good for Duggan
who was arguably more over than everyone in the ring so why not push him big
Winners: Jim Duggan & VK Wallstreet over The
Blue Bloods via Taped Fist!
Dirty Dick Slater & Bobby Eaton vs The
Slater pushes Disco to the corner, clean break by
Slater. Leg trip and Slater works the leg before Disco shoves off Slater.
Elbows and chops by Slater, Disco tags in Wright. Eaton comes in with big right
hands, Eaton whips Wright to the buckle, uppercuts by Wright. Hip-toss and
dropkick by Wright, head-scissors and flying wheel kick. Tag to Slater, Disco
gets the tag too. Right hands all around, elbows for Eaton. Match breaks down
with all 4 in the ring, Disco lands an elbow in the corner. Slater cracks Disco
in the back of the head with his boot. Just why must I watch this tournament?
Winners: Dick Slater & Bobby Eaton over The
Dancing Fools via Boot to The Head!
DDP & The Barbarian vs Hugh Morrus & Meng
A mysterious benefactor has given DDP the means to
come back to WCW, oh joy for DDP. I have to say though having watched DDP go
from curtain jerker to TV champion to now, the man got his act together and got
in shape very well. DDP looks almost like a different person, it’s crazy.
Eye-poke and arm-wrench by DDP, shoulder thrusts and a side headlock. Morrus
looks to reverse, DDP uses the hair to maintain control. Shoulder block and DDP
is on the floor, Morrus tries a plancha and splats on the floor hard. DDP
delivers a huge clothesline, tag to Barbarian. Morrus lands a clubbing blow and
Meng comes in, the two partners are going to destroy one another. Chops and
kicks by Meng, Barbarian pokes the eyes and lands a shoulder block.
Elbows to the head, clubbing blows but no movement.
Spinning kick by Barbarian, down goes Meng. Assisted splash by DDP and
Barbarian, Meng dodges an elbow drop and lands a headbutt on Barbarian. Tag to
Morrus, scoop slam and Morrus climbs high. Diving elbow drop for two, DDP
crotches Morrus. Barbarian wants a belly to belly and it connects! Meng makes
the save, Hugh Morrus lands his Moonsault but DDP makes the save. DDP and Meng
are brawling, superkick by both Barbarian & Meng but DDP has his foot under
the ropes while Morrus did not so DDP & Barbarian advance.
Winners: DDP & Barbarian over Meng & Hugh
Morrus via Superkick!
Big Bubba & Stevie Ray vs Fire & Ice
Stevie Ray & Norton to start, clean break by
Norton and Stevie Ray takes advantage, scoop slam by Stevie. Norton reverses an
Irish whip and lands a flying shoulder tackle, belly thrusts in the corner.
Stevie blocks Norton twice with a boot, big clothesline by Stevie. Bubba is in,
wind-up punch by Bubba. Corner splash, spinebuster by Bubba for two. Ice Train
is in, splash but only two for Ice Train. Clothesline with both men down, Norton
is in. Face-buster by Norton, Bubba and Stevie Ray bang heads and Fire &
Ice nail a shoulder block for the win. Lame!
Fire & Ice over Big Bubba & Stevie Ray
via Shoulder Block!
Arn Anderson & Eddie Guerrero vs Ric Flair
& Randy Savage
Arn Anderson attacks Savage before the bell and Flair
attacks Savage too, Flair and Eddie are brawling now with Eddie showing Flair
that this will not be easy, forearms and a dropkick. Flair is begging for
mercy, Woman & Miss Elizabeth are here! Lock-up, Flair chops Eddie but
Eddie is drilling him back. Back body-drop and dropkicks by Eddie, eye-poke by
Flair. Flair attacks Savage again, Flair allows Anderson to tag into the match
so that Anderson can rough up Savage. Anderson shoves Savage to the corner,
shoulder thrusts and forearms. Savage boots Anderson after an Irish whip,
Spinebuster by Anderson for two. Flair tags into the match and beats the piss
out of Savage, Eddie lands an eye-poke and chops on Flair.
Flair Flop, dropkick from Eddie. Tornado DDT lands,
Savage goes after Flair. Anderson and Eddie are talking before Anderson wipes
out Eddie with a DDT, Anderson attacks Savage. Flair is going to steal a win
over Eddie, Ric Flair steals the win!
More short matches where I would rather see matches between
everyone who was feuding instead of this crap, big part here though as Elizabeth
Winners: Randy Savage & Ric Flair over
Anderson & Eddie Guerrero via DDT!
(WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match) Dean
Malenko © vs Brad Armstrong
The Ice Man Dean Malenko became champion by defeating
Shinjiro Otani so we have the beginning of something special here in WCW with
the cruiserweight championship. Brad Armstrong is your favourite worker’s
favourite opponent if he was in WCW during the late 80s. Nobody says Brad
Armstrong was not the shit, the man was like a machine but could never have
that gimmick or charisma that would take him beyond being everyone favourite’s
Standing switches from both men, Malenko drop toeholds
but Armstrong wriggles free for a rings of Saturn like stretch, hammerlock into
a side headlock. Malenko turns the tide, leap-frogs before a massive enzuigiri
from Armstrong. Both men try hip-tosses, Malenko lands a headbutt before
Armstrong lands a hip-toss and a dropkick. Malenko is on the floor recharging
the batteries. Test of strength fake from Malenko, short dropkick to the knee.
Armstrong is in trouble, Malenko sends the knee into the ring-post. Malenko
stretches the leg of Armstrong, Armstrong makes it to the ropes. Malenko lands
a scoop slam, Malenko lands a middle rope knee-drop to the leg. Shin-breaker
and a standing leg lock from Malenko, Armstrong is placed in the tree of woe.
Armstrong almost scores an upset with a sunset flip, Malenko is quickly out and
works the leg.
Heel hook leads to a rope break, Malenko snaps the leg
off of the ring apron. Another scoop slam, Malenko tries a splash but Armstrong
blocks with a boot to the face. Irish whip and right hand by Armstrong, powerslam
by Armstrong. Armstrong is going high risk, missile dropkick from Armstrong.
Armstrong puts Malenko in The Texas Cloverleaf! What is going on here? Malenko
makes it to the ropes, Malenko pulls Armstrong to the floor. Armstrong is on
the apron, Malenko’s head meets the ring-post. Malenko nails a top-rope
gut-buster on Armstrong for the win!
Another brief match, loved Malenko’s leg work throughout
the match even though Armstrong did not sell it towards the end of the match,
only remembering to when it was necessary. Didn’t think Malenko used that
gut-buster as a finish but stranger things have happened and it does look nasty,
a breathe of fresh air on this terrible card.
Winner: Dean Malenko over Brad Armstrong via
Bobby Eaton & Dick Slater vs Hacksaw Jim
Duggan & V.K. Wallstreet
Duggan beat the crap out of his partner earlier so the
idea they would even come out together is ridiculous but here we are, the bell
rings and Duggan is tearing up Wallstreet. Eaton & Slater are here now, they
get the jump on Duggan & Wallstreet before Duggan turns the tide,
Wallstreet knees Duggan to the floor. Slater lands a Russian leg-sweep on
Wallstreet for two, elbow by Slater. Eaton comes in, back body-drop by
Wallstreet. Duggan headbutts Eaton on the floor, abdominal stretch by Wallstreet.
Slater makes the save, Duggan waffles Eaton & Slater. Duggan & Slater
come into the ring, Duggan knocks down Slater for two, reverse chin-lock from Duggan.
Slater and Duggan collide off a comical shoulder
block, tag to Wallstreet & Eaton. Wallstreet showing me why I hated him all
those years ago by flopping, Eaton slams Wallstreet. Eaton is yanked off the
top rope, Wallstreet nails Duggan by mistake, Duggan smacks Wallstreet back and
Eaton gets the roll-up win!
Ugh how many more matches of this shit do I have to
Winners: Eaton & Slater over Duggan &
Wallstreet via Roll-Up!
The Public Enemy vs Ric Flair & Randy Savage
Imagine The Public Enemy getting two PPV matches on
one night, double payday. Savage comes out after Flair to jump Flair and
security takeaway Savage, why didn’t this happen when Flair attacked Savage?
That’s a bit bizarre, The American Males are here. Wow been a wild since I saw
Bagwell on PPV, maybe 1994? Public Enemy win by forfeit!
Winners: The Public Enemy!
DDP & The Barbarian vs The Booty Man &
DDP talks to Booty Babe, Booty Man is not happy. Big
right hand by Booty Man, tag to Steiner. Steiner and Booty fuck-up a spot,
great stuff. Steiner slams DDP hard for two, Steiner wants ten punches in the
corner but DDP flapjacks Steiner onto the turnbuckle. In comes Barbarian who
boots Steiner before being suplexed by The Dog-Faced Gremlin, middle rope belly
to belly suplex. Steinerline for two, Barbarian clubs down Steiner. Powerbomb
by Barbarian, two for Barbarian. Barbarian tosses Steiner over the top rope
behind the referee’s back, DDP stomps all over Steiner. Barbarian lands a
corner clothesline, clothesline and a second clothesline goes wrong as Steiner
lands a stungun. High Knee by Booty Man, DDP makes the save. Booty Man tries an
O’Connor roll but DDP lands an elbow to the head and Barbarian covers for the
Winners: DDP & Barbarian over Booty Man &
Rick Steiner via Elbow!
(WCW United States Heavyweight Championship
Match) Konnan © vs Jushin Liger
I don’t think even Sonny Onoo can make Jushin Liger a
heel on this night as Konnan comes out looking like a massively jacked heel.
Lock-up, trip and interesting move from Konnan, they trade wrist-locks and pin-fall
attempts. Chops by Liger, snap-mare and a senton by the challenger. Onoo lands
some martial arts kicks but it doesn’t work out for Onoo, baseball slide and plancha
by Liger. Brainbuster by Liger for two, Konnan tries stretching Liger who
reverses and stretches Konnan. Camel clutch by Liger, single leg Boston crab
attempt. Konnan begins to fight back, both men slap one another before Liger
lands a kappu kick.
Liger lifts Konnan onto the top rope, superplex by
Liger. Liger calls for something big from the top, diving splash from the top
for two. Liger tries a splash to the floor but Konnan lands a dropkick, Liger
dodges an elbow in the ring and lands a belly to back suplex. Liger lands a
fisherman buster for a close two, Liger is whipped to the buckle. Liger tries a
head-scissors out of the corner but Konnan counters for an alabama slam. Konnan
wanted a Splash Mountain Bomb but Liger rolls out for a sunset flip and a close
two, Liger wants a Liger-Bomb. It connects, 1…2…. Konnan kicks out at the last
moment! Scoop slam by Liger, Konnan blocks with a boot. Konnan lands The Power
Drive and it’s over!
Again when I see Konnan in WCW, I become curious about
how he comes across in AAA because he had to have some sort of magic factor to
have people lose their minds over the guy. Liger doesn’t know how to have a bad
match especially during this era so they drop bombs and while the crowd doesn’t
care, I am eating it up but the question has to be asked: Why are they pushing
Konnan so hard when the crowd doesn’t care.
Winner: Konnan over Jushin Liger via Power Drive!
Eight men battling for the title of “Lord of The Ring”,
a prestigious title that can only be held by the bets of the best so who do we
have here tonight? Ice Train, Scott Norton, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Public
Enemy, Barbarian and DDP. Oh yeah, that just screams the best of WCW. Everyone
is paring off in corners, lots of punching so if that’s your thing, you will be
in heaven in this one. Barbarian almost boots out DDP. Finally Rocco Rock is
thrown out as Barbarian back-drops him out, Slater smashes Eaton with his boot
and Eaton is eliminated.
Eaton decks Parker with a right hand, it is beautiful.
Slater must be eliminated as the camera misses it, Slater & Eaton brawl to
the back. DDP throws out Scott Norton with a back-drop, what a random last
four. Powerslam by Ice Train on Barbarian, DDP and Grunge. DDP drops Barbarian
with a Diamond Cutter, Cutter on Ice Train and Grunge. DDP pins Grunge, DDP
pins Ice Train and DDP does not pin Barbarian. Barbarian catches the foot of
DDP, clothesline by Barbarian for two. Barbarian spikes DDP with a tombstone
for a close two, Barbarian has the sleeper, DDP lands a low-blow. Irish whip
but DDP lowers his head, Barbarian wants a powerbomb. Another two, scoop slam
by Barbarian. Diving headbutt misses, Diamond Cutter and it’s over.
Big moment for DDP, they obviously have plans for DDP
who is working very hard to improve his craft, good for him although there will
always be rumours of how his relations to Bischoff and The Wolfpac would impact
Winner: DDP over Barbarian via Diamond Cutter!
(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match) The
Giant © W/ Jimmy Hart vs Sting
Jimmy Hart & Lex Luger are going to be handcuffed
to one another on the floor, this feels very bizarre as I love Sting while WCW
has done everything to make him a backup to Hogan & Savage and even Flair
in 1993 but here is Sting in 1996 challenging for the championship when Sting
has been in the tag team scene for months at this point. Giant was rough with
Hogan guiding him, how will he do with Sting. Both men show great speed to kick
us off, Sting tries a crossbody and bounces off like nothing, Sting is talking
shit with Giant. Giant eats a right-hand and tries a sleeper, the crowd come
alive for the first time tonight.
Sting lands a dropkick, make it two and a clothesline
too! Giant laughs in Sting’s face, Sting is on the floor re-evaluating his
strategy. Sting wanted a slam but Giant falls on Sting for a close two, Giant
steps all over Sting’s chest. Elbow drop by Giant, Luger is firing up the
crowd. Giant whips Sting, elbow to the face. Giant shoulder thrusts Sting over
and over, whip to the opposite buckle. Sting fights back, Giant clubs down the
challenger. Low headbutt by Giant, elbow drops by Giant. Body-scissors by
Giant, Giant also uses the ropes for leverage. Giant whips Sting, Sting kicks
Giant in the face so Giant shoves Sting to the floor.
Giant throws Sting towards the stage, Luger has Jimmy
Hart on the table. Giant cannot throw Sting through the table, clever from
Luger. Sting is on the apron and elbows the referee by mistake, Giant is
watching in the corner. Giant misses a splash, Sting kicks Giant in the ribs
and Sting lands a Stinger Splash. Giant is being battered, Luger & Jimmy
Hart watch on from the apron. Sting tries to save Luger who is being choked by
Giant, Sting lands three Stinger Splashes.
Sting manages to put down The Giant with boots, Jimmy
Hart is on the top rope. Sting tries a Stinger Splash but Jimmy Hart is pulled
down from the buckle by Luger possibly, Sting headbutts Giant in the balls.
Diving Top Rope Splash by Sting for two, Giant presses Sting onto the referee.
Sting is climbing again, second splash. Scorpion Death-Lock, Luger and Jimmy
Hart are fighting over the megaphone. Sting is clocked with the megaphone, was
it an accident? Giant lands The Chokeslam for the win!
Well I am not sure if the crowd loves Sting like I do
or they were so bored by the piss-poor action before this match but they are
fired up here and Sting brings everything he can to the limited Giant and the
result is quite a fun match. They have clearly put months into Luger coming
back and will he turn on Sting, will he not and we continue that drama with the
finish here appearing as Luger smashed Sting with the megaphone. Shame that
ultimately it will go nowhere in about two months but hey it looked great here.
Giant and Sting are infinitely more mobile and fun than Hogan vs Giant,
different dynamic and some fun near-falls here with a referee bump too! Good
main event made a thousand times better than everything before it being shite!
Winner: The Giant over Sting via Chokeslam!
That was WCW’s Slamboree 1996, a possible contender
for one of the worst PPVs that I had to watch during this series. The Battle
Bowl concept is horrible, it drops all feuds in the name of a battle royal that
doesn’t feel like a Royal Rumble. The random teams thrown together get in the
way of the interesting feuds I want to see, I would rather Savage vs Flair
again than this tag match nonsense, Savage lost Elizabeth last month, why is he
not trying to murder Flair for stealing her from him? Anyways, the concept is
boring, the matches are short and the other singles matches are inoffensive,
leaving no real impression on the mind after they had taken place. However, the
crowd and I wake up for the main event, Sting shows why Sting should be WCW Champion
in a matter of minutes and has some good drama to add to the Sting & Luger
story. So this PPV was a rough one to get through because so many short matches
back to back can be just as draining as bad matches. Thanks for reading and
remember: there’s always another night!