WWF Wrestlemania IX Review

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is a bigger draw than Sasha Banks. It’s WWF Wrestlemania IX, the first appearance of Jim Ross on pay per view. We are in an odd place with The New Generation coming into effect but we also have the return of Hulkamania! Our main event is Bret Hart against his toughest challenge yet, it’s Yokozuna. Could The Hitman overcome the seemingly unstoppable foreign menace managed by Mr. Fuji? As I stated above, Hulk Hogan is back with his long-time friend Brutus The Barber Beefcake to take on Money Inc. for the WWF Tag Team Championships. We will also have Shawn Michaels vs Tatanka and the pay per view debut match for The Narcissist Lex Luger. Razor Ramon vs Bob Backlund, Crush vs Doink and Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez. Could this be a homerun? Let’s find out!

(WWF Intercontinental Championship Match) Shawn Michaels © W/ Luna Vachon vs Tatanka W/ Sensational Sherri

The undefeated Tatanka battles the cocky champion in HBK. Michaels has ditched Sherri after his battled with Marty Jannetty, Sherri accompanies Tatanka to combat Luna at ringside. Michaels takes his time, Tatanka has a hammerlock. Michaels looks for an angle, applying a keylock before Tatanka bridges up and shoves off Michaels. Side headlock from Michaels, Tatanka cannot break free. Michaels runs up the ropes to continue to apply pressure to Tatanka, Michaels tries it again and Tatanka lands a massive belly to back suplex. Chop in the corner, hard whip to the buckle. Michaels dodges the clothesline and Tatanka lands two arm-drags and a dropkick. Michaels flip to the apron and a chop sends Michaels to the floor.

Luna goes to check on Michaels, Sherri stops that business. Tatanka waffles Michaels who tries entering the ring, Michaels lands an eye poke on Tatanka. Michaels tries a sunset flip from the top rope, it connects for two. Elbow from Michaels, Tatanka reverses an Irish whip. Both men leapfrog and avoid one another before an inverted atomic drop from Tatanka. Michaels misses a chop and lowers his head, Tatanka lands a massive DDT.

Snap-mare into a leg drop on the arm, Tatanka maintains control of the arm. Clothesline from Michaels, Tatanka walks it off and reapplies the arm-bar. Tatanka continues to wrench the arm of The Heartbreak Kid, Micheals backs Tatanka to the corner. Clean break it is not though, Michaels cheap-shots Tatanka. Whip to the buckle, Michaels hits the ring-post hard as Tatanka avoids the collision. Tatanka reapplies the arm-bar, shoulder-breaker from Tatanka and a massive elbow. Diving Chop from Tatanka, a second tomahawk chop goes wrong as Michaels connects with a beautiful Superkick. Michaels tosses Tatanka to the floor, Luna thinks about jumping Tatanka but Sherri defends the challenger.

Luna is not pleased, Michaels runs Tatanka into the ring apron. Michaels lands a flying clothesline off the apron, Michaels stomps on the head of Tatanka as Sherri and Michaels have words at ringside. Michaels wants Sherri to leave, Irish whip and a right hand from Michaels. Swinging neck-breaker for two, beautiful dropkick for two. Reverse chin-lock from Michaels, Tatanka fires up though. Elbows to the ribs, left jabs from Michaels rock the challenger. Michaels wants a victory roll, two for the champion. More jabs and a right hand from Michaels, Michaels gets caught on the shoulders of Tatanka who lands a massive electric chair drop.

Tatanka gets a two off the electric chair drop, Tatanka misses a regular elbow drop. Michaels climbs to the middle rope. Diving axe handle from Michaels, Tatanka shakes it off. Michaels lands a second axe handle and Tatanka is on the warpath. Superkick is blocked, massive chop from Tatanka. Make it three, massive chop off an Irish whip floors Michaels. Diving Crossbody for two, Michaels sends Tatanka to the buckle. Michaels tries a dropkick for two catapult counter from Tatanka. Both men use roll-ups for two, Michaels is on the top rope. Tatanka counters the crossbody for a powerslam, 1…2.. Michaels kicks out!

Michaels throws Tatanka to the floor, Luna thinks about getting involved in the match. Michaels tries a diving crossbody from the apron, Tatanka moves out of the way and Michaels lands hard on the steel steps. Michaels trips up the referee and goes back to fighting Tatanka in the ring. Tatanka lands the Samoan Drop but the referee calls for the bell, Tatanka wins by count-out.

Certainly a change from the Michaels and Jannetty match, a big change of pace. While no doubting that Tatanka is popular with the audience, this was not his greatest showcase. Michaels did bump all around at times but things were rather dull, I think it could be the outside arena environment too though. It seems to suck the noise out of the fans, you cannot get that same reaction from being inside an arena. Interesting dynamic of Luna and Sherri at ringside, the pairing of Luna & Michaels seems a bit odd but the fans do love Sherri and believe she has been wronged by The Heartbreak Kid. Maybe there is a mixed tag team match coming in the future, who knows. Overall, it was a step-down from Michaels vs Jannetty and not the hottest opening match I have seen but I don’t know how the rest of the card will pan out, this might be one of the best matches of the night when this is all over.

Winner: Tatanka over Shawn Michaels via Count-Out!

The Headshrinkers W/Afa vs The Steiner Brothers

Heenan sums it up right, this is an important match for sure. Two rising teams in the WWF, no strangers to one another from their battles in WCW. Fatu and Scott to start, lock-up and arm-drag from Scott. Fatu is right back up, talking trash before Scott takes down Fatu with an arm-bar being the result of that tackle. Fatu brings Scott to the corner, headbutts from Fatu to break the hold. Scott hip-tosses his way out, the two trade blows and Scott lands a massive clothesline which spins Fatu all over the place. Fatu thumbs the eye and tags Samu after a double-team in the corner.

Samu decks Rick who tried helping Scott, both Steiners are tossed to the floor before climbing to the top rope. The Headshrinkers are hit by a double clothesline, The Steiners own the ring. Fatu and Samu bang their heads together and return to action, another lock-up. Scott takes the arm and tags Rick, Samu comes in and chops Rick. Face rake and shots by Samu, corner clothesline floors Rick. Whip to the opposite buckle and Rick explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, Samu is whipped hard into the ring-post. Tag to Scott, Tigerbomb from Scott. Fatu eats a dropkick before Samu flapjacks Scott over the top rope and right onto his head. This looks devastating, one of the scariest things you would ever see and Scott is fine.

Afa whacks Scott with a kendo stick before Scott is back in the ring, Samu presses the advantage with clubbing blows. Fatu headbutts Scott, back-breaker and middle rope headbutt onto Scott. Two for Fatu as Rick saves the match, Headshrinkers double headbutt Scott before Samu lands a roundhouse kick. Samu whips Scott to the buckle, Scott counters with a boot. Samu tags Fatu who kicks Scott to the floor, Rick tries rallying his brother. Rick and Fatu have words as Samu rams Scott head-first into the ring-post. Rick checks on his brother once more, Scott sends Fatu into the mat head-first but Fatu no-sells and superkicks Scott. Standing dropkick from Samu on Scott, Scott begins fighting back before a throat thrust ends the flurry of Scott.

Tag to Fatu, back-breaker and diving chop combination. Headbutt from Fatu for two, nerve-hold from Fatu. Fatu and Samu continue to dominate Scott with a gut-kick from Samu. Chop and clubbing blows have Scott down to a knee, Samu rakes at the eyes of Scott. Headbutt from Samu, scoop slam from Samu. Samu climbs to the top rope, Samu tries a diving headbutt but Scott dodges at the last second. Rick receives the hot-tag, back body drop and scoop slams all around. Steinerlines for The Headshrinkers, noggin-knocker goes wrong for Rick as he eats a double headbutt. Headshrinkers land a front-Russian leg-sweep before Fatu tags Samu. Doomsday Device goes wrong as Rick powerslams Samu in mid-air for a close two. Rick tags Scott, Scott belly to belly suplexes Fatu. Samu lands a superkick on Scott, Scott counters an Irish whip for a Frankensteiner and this match is over!

That bump is horrifying to look, you do not see how Scott landed and thank God, I do not think I would be able to look at something like that take place. Anyways, Scott sells his ass off for the dominant Headshrinkers before we get down to the finish. My one problem with the finish is how abrupt it is when it comes to The Frankensteiner. Rick runs wild before being wiped out to allow Scott in, Scott loses control and gets beat down some more before one Irish whip later, Scott whips out The Frankensteiner and it’s all over. Just does not hit the right spot for me. Good tag team match that was entertaining and I could watch these two go at it some more.

Winners: The Steiner Brothers over The Headshrinkers via Frankensteiner!

Crush vs Doink

Doink the evil crown had given Crush a concussion after smashing him with a fake arm. Doink was certainly an interesting character in the beginning, an odd clown who took pleasure in other’s pain. Antagonizing opponents, there was a dark side to this clown who wanted to batter his opponents and break every bone in their body. The match starts with Crush slamming Doink on the floor, Doink meets the ring-post too. Doink meets the guard-rail before Crush throws Doink into the ring. Crush corners Doink, Doink begs for mercy at the hands of Crush. Crush chokes and rams Doink into the buckle, right hands stagger Doink. Hard Irish whip to the buckle sends Doink down, Doink rolls to the floor for a break before pulling out Crush.

Rights and lefts from Doink have no effect on Crush, Crush continues kicking and walloping Doink. Neck-breaker in the middle of the ring, snap-mare and face rake from Crush. Doink continues to beg for mercy, Crush continues to punish Doink. Back-breaker, Doink rolls to the apron. Forearm to the chest from Crush, Doink grabs the hair and stun-guns Crush. Diving double axe handle from Doink, clothesline off the middle rope. Fists to the side of the head, Doink lands a devastating piledriver. Crush rolls to the floor but Doink brings him back in, scoop slam from Doink. Whoopie Cushion is blocked by the boot of Crush, Doink tries to regain control. Crush is bounced off the buckle, chop from Doink.

Doink tries a crossbody, Crush counters for a powerslam. Crush is sent tumbling to the floor off a clothesline, Doink tries crawling under the ring. Crush grabs Doink and headbutts him in the back of the head. Military press slam from Crush, Crush calls for the end of this match. Cranium Crush, Doink makes it to the ropes and smacks away the referee who is now knocked out. Doink tries crawling under the ring again, Crush stops that and lands a spinning sole butt. Cranium Crush on Doink, Doink is fading in the middle of the ring but wait a minute, there is another clown. Crush is waffled with the fake arm three times by this second Doink, they do an illusion act before laughing at the fallen Crush. Doink One wakes the referee and steals the win.

Based on the feud, this was everything it needed to be during the match with Crush finally getting his hands on Doink and battering the demented clown. However, the clown had a secret plan and the double act was a clever idea for sure. Not a great look for Doink but I mean look at those tights and hair, how could Crush ever get over looking like he does, it is shocking as I feel my eyes are being assaulted by the barrage of colours.

Winner: Doink over Crush via Fake Arm!

Razor Ramon vs Bob Backlund

What in the lord’s name is this match? Ramon’s first Wrestlemania match is against Backlund who only came back at the Rumble? Backlund won over the fans at The Rumble but that was a match where lots of things were happening and Backlund was not the sole focus. Ramon throws his toothpick right at Backlund, loud Razor chants from the fans. Not good, Ramon throws Backlund into the corner twice. Backlund surprises Ramon with his quickness before Ramon lands a big right, scoop slam and stomp to the face. Another slam for Backlund, measured rights from Ramon. Backlund manages to reverse a corner whip before landing two hip-tosses, a dropkick and a forearm to the face.

Double arm suplex from Backlund, delayed atomic drop from Backlund. Ramon rolls to the apron, Backlund brings Ramon back into the ring before Ramon clamps on a small package and wins the match, just like that.

Well, I was not expecting that finish so abruptly and all of a sudden. It is all I could have asked for though, I had no interest in these two going at for any long period of time. The gods listened to me and this match was over quickly but wow, what was the point of this match? A buffer to the big Money Inc. vs Mega-Maniacs match? Seems like a nothing match for a big star like Razor Ramon, guess Ramon’s first Mania is nothing special.

Winner: Razor Ramon over Bob Backlund via Small Package!

(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) Money Inc. © vs The Mega-Maniacs W/ Jimmy Hart

Beefcake was cracked by Money Inc. on an episode of Raw, disfiguring The Barber while Hogan was attacked by hired thugs at the gym by Money Inc. That’s the angle but the big news is Hogan is back after leaving at the previous Wrestlemania to help his friend Beefcake.

This match starts with a brawl, The Mega-Maniacs rule the ring as Dibiase & IRS are tossed to the floor. Posing time brother, grand-standing and hot-dogging galore. Beefcake and IRS to start the match officially, knees from IRS. Beefcake meets the buckle as Dibiase is tagged in, rights and lefts from Dibiase. Chops too, whip and elbow from The Million Dollar Man. Dibiase antagonizes Hogan as Money Inc. land double team blows on Beefcake. IRS tags in Dibiase, kicks to the ribs and a middle rope axe handle on Beefcake. However, Beefcake blocks with his protective mask. Hogan is in the ring off the tag, ten punches in the corner on Dibiase. Hogan lands more punches to the head, the referee and Hogan have words as Hogan stalks Dibiase. Off the ropes and a massive axe bomber from Hogan before more punches, Hogan scares off the referee again before tagging Beefcake.

Double big boot, stomp from Beefcake. Big scoop slam, tag to Hogan. Middle rope axe handle, shot to the head from Hogan. Not so bad says Hogan, Dibiase shoves off Hogan and runs into a right hand from Hogan. Clothesline to the floor, IRS runs in and gets clobbered by Beefcake and Hogan. Hogan tosses IRS to the floor, Hogan poses for the fans. Money Inc. begin walking away, the official begins talking to The Fink. The referee rules Money Inc. must return to the ring or forfeit their championships. IRS and Dibiase are back in, we reset for this match. Dibiase eye pokes Hogan and chokes The Hulkster on the middle rope. IRS chokes Hogan behind the referee’s back, Dibiase chokes Hogan with the rope too.

Quick tags as Dibiase chokes Hogan while IRS distracts the referee, Dibiase uses the top rope to continue choking Hogan. More choking by IRS, Hogan collapses to the mat. Million Dollar Dream, Hogan reaches out for Beefcake but is fading fast. Beefcake and Jimmy Hart are trying to rally Hogan, Hogan fades to one knee. Hogan comes back alive before Dibiase squeezes tighter. Beefcake comes in and applies The Sleeper on Dibiase, Hogan and Dibiase are down as Beefcake choked out Dibiase. Beefacke gets the hot-tag, rights and lefts on IRS. Running high knee on IRS, atomic drop on Dibiase. Right hand floors IRS, multiple right hands floor IRS before Dibiase smashes Beefcake in the back with his briefcase.

IRS lands an elbow on the prone Beefcake, make it two. Tag to Dibiase, Dibiase tries ripping off the protective mask of Beefcake. Throat thrust from Dibiase, the mask is off. Dibiase lands a huge right, Beefcake is smashed into the boot of IRS. Another measured right to the face of Beefcake, tag to Dibiase. A defenceless Beefcake takes huge rights to the face, Beefcake ducks an Irish whip from Money Inc. and lands a huge clothesline. Beefcake has The Sleeper on IRS, Dibiase axe handles Beefcake into the referee to break the hold. Hogan gets the hot-tag, the referee is still down.

Right hands on Dibiase, Irish whip and a huge boot. Atomic leg drop time, nope as IRS comes but Hogan waffles both with the protective mask of Beefcake. IRS and Dibiase have been hit with the masks, Jimmy hart tries reviving the referee. It does not work so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside-out and counts the pin-fall. 1..2..3. Hogan and Beefcake win the match but this is not official of course as Money Inc. are declared the winners by DQ. Beefcake ran over the referee so that explains why this match is turned in their favour.

This was probably the best match on the card so far, it was all about Hogan brother. Dibiase and IRS turn in their best performance as a tag team by cheating in every conceivable way imaginable during the match. The only thing they did not do was fake an injury as they used tag ropes, took cheap shots, interfered illegally and even took off the protective mask of the injured Beefcake. Hogan can still do what he needs to do, Hogan gets the big reaction from the fans. Beefcake is a serviceable partner, not good enough to make this super exciting but he did what he needed to do. A weak finish for sure considering this was very heavily hyped, even named a Double Main Event. It’s Hogan returning man and you give us another screwy finish when it comes to this card.

Winners: Money Inc. over The Mega-Maniacs via DQ!

Mr. Perfect vs Lex Luger

Luger makes one of the most incredible entrances in the WWF to this point as The Narcissist is joined by several beautiful women to pose in front of all his “fans” in the WWF. This should be a good match as Perfect has been impressive since returning to in-ring competition. Perfect and Luger to lock-up, Luger and Perfect trade wrist-locks before Perfect shows Luger that he is quicker. Luger backs up, not wanting to get into a battle of speed with Perfect. Another lock-up, Perfect and Luger trade hammerlocks before Luger wants Perfect to let go, Luger scrambles to the ropes. Eye rake from Luger, Perfect reverses an Irish whip and lands a gut punch before a knee-lift.

Perfect fools Luger once more with his speed and agility before landing a dropkick which sends Luger powdering to the floor. Let’s take a breather, another eye rake from Luger. Clubbing blows by Luger, Perfect meets the turnbuckle hard. Luger misses a boot, Perfect slaps Luger and drives his knee into the leg of Luger. Perfect goes after the leg of Luger, Luger sells appropriately. Perfect drives all his weight into the leg of Luger, spinning toe hold from Perfect. Perfect continues to kicks the legs of Luger, chops in the corner stagger Luger. Luger stops the whip to the opposite buckle, Luger reverses though sending in Perfect hard. Make it two, Perfect is down clutching his back.

Perfect is rammed into the ring apron, forearms to the spine of Perfect. Back-breaker from Luger, elbow to the head. Two for Luger, Perfect fights out of the corner and begins to will his way back into this match. Whip to the buckle, Luger counters with a knee and uses the ropes for leverage for two before being caught by the referee. Powerslam from Luger for two, too much taunting from Luger. Irish whip, Luger ducks the head. Sunset flip from Perfect for two, sleeper from Perfect. Luger backs Perfect into the corner, gut shots and right hands from Perfect. Kick from Luger, right hands. Whip off the ropes, Luger ducks the head again which allows Perfect to land a small package for two. Back body-drop from Perfect, Perfect sends Luger to the buckle. Luger is down, catapult into the ring-post.

Roundhouse right from Perfect, Perfect whips Luger again. Giant forearm to the head for two, Luger is begging for mercy. Perfect closes in for another right hand, ten punches in the corner from Perfect. Luger tries an inverted atomic drop but Perfect blocks and lands two big forearms for two. Neck-breaker for two, missile dropkick from Perfect for two. Perfect wants a backslide, Luger blocks using the middle rope and reverses the hold. Luger backslides Perfect and Perfect has his feet in the ropes, referee does not see it and Luger gets the 3. After the match, Luger waffles Perfect with his Bionic Forearm!

Not the best way to win for your first feud I believe, I think Luger could be something special in the WWF and while I understand that you want to protect Perfect but I think Luger should have knocked out Perfect. Especially when Perfect gets up from the deadly forearm after a few seconds and is brawling with Luger. The potential match between Perfect and Michaels is exciting though, would love to see those two go at it but yeah, the in-ring work was fine between Perfect and Luger. Perfect’s transition to babyface has been seamless, Perfect can still be cocky but so cool, love his body language and facials too. Great working punches and the fans are all in on Perfect while Luger is such a smug heel, it simply works for me. So, not thrilled with the finish at all, would loved a definitive win for Luger considering Perfect can move right into a feud with Michaels.

Winner: Lex Luger over Mr. Perfect via Backslide!

Giant Gonzalez W/ Harvey Whippleman vs The Undertaker W/ Paul Bearer

The Royal Rumble: Undertaker enters and makes the rumble bearable for a brief moment before this monster, Gonzalez in the most ridiculous outfit I have ever seen comes in and dominates Undertaker like nobody has ever seen. Taker leaves the rumble eliminated, struggling to sit up. Point made Gonzalez but now you must pay against The Deadman. The two men stare at one another in the middle of the ring, a forearm from Gonzalez does nothing to Taker who continues to stare in defiance. Shots from Taker stagger Gonzalez, Gonzalez chokes Taker with ease. To the corner we go, Taker climbs to the middle rope and chokes back at the giant. Gonzalez goes low, Taker fights back and waffles Gonzalez with a chop. Old School from Taker, more shots to the face and chest.

Stomps from Taker, boot from Gonzalez. Clothesline from Gonzalez, a clubbing blow takes down Taker. A huge toss from Gonzalez, reverse chin-lock from Gonzalez. Taker fades before coming back, Gonzalez releases the hold and side-steps Taker who spills out to the floor. More attacks from Gonzalez, Taker meets the steel steps. Bearer uses the power of the urn to raise up Taker, Gonzalez crushes Taker with a giant headbutt. Make it two, Taker is on his feet once more. Taker will not fall, clubbing blows do not drop The Deadman. Gonzalez is down to a knee, Whippleman throws something to Gonzalez before being attacked by Taker. Gonzalez headbutts Paul Bearer and applies a hold with a cloth full of chloroform. Gonzalez is disqualified and Taker wins the match.

Giant Gonzalez might be one of the worst wrestlers I have ever seen in that ring, I have no idea how I will sit through another match between these two because this was a disaster. Also, another DQ? How many is that now on this card? It’s driving me nuts, I was aware of the previous reputation that this Wrestlemania had my God, I cannot believe how many poor finishes this card has across the whole event.

Winner: The Undertaker over Giant Gonzalez via DQ!

(WWF Championship Match) Bret Hart © vs Yokozuna W/ Mr. Fuji

The Winner of The Royal Rumble comes to The Main Event! Yokozuna is here to take what he believes is his: The WWF Championship. Bret Hart was knocked out earlier by The Bionic Forearm of Lex Luger. Hart must go up against this monster with the whole world expecting a Yokozuna win, Hart is focused on the task at hand. Hart comes in with a dropkick, right hands in the corner. Yokozuna shoves off Hart with ease, more rights from Hart. Hart takes the back but Yokozuna shakes that off before landing a huge shoulder tackle. Hart is send crashing to the floor, Yokozuna continues to kick Hart. Hart ties up Yokozuna’s leg, slingshot splash into the ring. Right hands from Hart, Bret’s Rope Elbow Drop.

Hart rallies the crowd, Yokozuna is freed from the ropes. Hart lands a clothesline, make it two. Yokozuna answers with a massive clothesline of his own, scoop slam and leg drop across the face of Hart. Yokozuna chokes Hart using the top rope, standing choke from Yokozuna. Hart breaks free, climbing to the middle rope to land a bulldog on the challenger for two. Yokozuna measures Hart for a massive thrust-kick, Yokozuna calls for the end.

Snap-mare into a shoulder claw, Yokozuna misses a hip attack in the corner as Hart dodges. Middle rope bulldog from Hart for two, Bret’s Rope Elbow Drop for two. Hart lands a middle rope clothesline, a running clothesline floors Yokozuna. To the corner, Yokozuna wants a spinebuster but Hart holds onto the buckle. Hart pulls off the buckle, cushioning the blow. Yokozuna is set into the exposed buckle, Hart locks on The Sharpshooter. Fuji reaches into his rove and throws powder in the eyes of Hart, Yokozuna covers Hart and steals the championship.

Winner: Yokozuna over Bret Hart via Powder To The Eyes!

(WWF Championship Match) Yokozuna © W/ Mr. Fuji vs Hulk Hogan

Hogan comes into the ring, protesting what had happened to The Hitman. Fuji gets on the microphone and starts calling Hogan a coward. Hogan wants to help Hart to the back, Hart tells Hogan to go after the championship. Hogan says alright, Yokozuna starts chopping Hogan. Fuji has more powder, Yokozuna is hit in the eyes. Fuji is knocked down, axe bomber to Yokozuna and one Atomic Leg Drop later, Hogan is champion once more.

So I thought I would talk about the two matches in one go. The first one was ok, I say just ok due to that length. It did not feel like a main event for Wrestlemania and that was proved correct as moments later, Hogan was out there winning the championship. For what it’s worth, Bret Hart went in there and made Yokozuna look like a beast while providing credible offence to try and take down the giant monster. Crowd was with it, I was with it and things were going good for the WWF Championship. Before it got really interesting though, powder to the eyes and we are done. Disappointing for sure because I find it a tough sell to buy into being blinded rendering you unable to lift your shoulders off the mat. Like Bret was so concerned with his eyes, he forgot to kick out? It’s not a clean finish and doesn’t hurt your champion so why not have him blinded and then hit by the finish, the heel still cheated and your babyface does not look as laughable. Things get more laughable as Hogan comes down and saves Wrestlemania making Yokozuna not look like a big threat and Bret foolish for not disposing of Yokozuna.

Winner: Hulk Hogan over Yokozuna via Atomic Leg Drop!

That was WWF Wrestlemania IX, a step-down from the previous year for sure. A lot of the star-power of the WWF is missing for Wrestlemania IX and while they are some matches here of genuine interest, the finishes leave you with a feeling of meh when all things are said and done. We kick off with Tatanka and Michaels, two rising stars on hot streaks within the company. Tatanka is undefeated and goes over in this match by count-out, not your ideal opener by any stretch of the imagination and it’s a finish where you are asking yourself well why did we book this? Michaels tried to make this a thrilling and exciting match but it never reaches those heights for me, it’s just so odd to open with a count-out at Wrestlemania I kept saying to myself when thinking about this match. Things improve with The Steiners vs The Headshrinkers though as these two beat the piss out of one another until The Steiners win the match. Nothing fancy and while Scott can be explosive and awesome at times, his selling does not get me invested to the degree I need for their matches. At this point, I was still happy enough with how the card was playing out. Things take a turn though!

Doink vs Crush was interesting at first, Crush dominated Doink for all his cheap tricks and when it was time to end things, Doink cheated his way to victory which could be a great way to continue their feud. The Crush gear and character are very bland though, definitely needs some sort of edge to himself apart from wearing neon-blinding colours for ring gear and saying “Brah”. Ramon vs Backlund was short which was nice but a roll-up for Ramon to win? Ramon was a huge star in the WWF and I do not mean to discredit Backlund because Backlund had been a huge star but Ramon needed a decisive win here after The Rumble. This is not looking towards your future, just felt like a waste of a match. The tag team championship match woke up the crowd and it’s no surprise because it’s Hogan back in the WWF. The nostalgia wears off when the finish happens, I loved the cheating ways of Money Inc. but a DQ finish in Hogan’s return was always going to be a bad idea. Finish does nothing for me, Beefcake and Hogan never really got justice for the assaults at the hands of Money Inc and all is forgotten as Hogan wins the WWF Championship.

Continuing on the questionable booking, new star Lex Luger gets a lucky win over Perfect who no-sells his finish despite the numerous warnings of Luger knocking out all opponents. Yes, Perfect was knocked out but not for very long and it made Luger seem weak in my eyes. How is Luger not going over the more established Perfect? What was the plan here? Undertaker vs Gonzalez was poor, Gonzalez sucks and we have another DQ. That’s three, I am getting sick of them now people. Finally, the main event was frustrating. Bret puts on a great performance and it’s undone by a finish that confuses me (Why can’t Bret lift his arms, he is blind not broken) and Hogan just coming in winning the title like it was nothing. Bret was built up for months as a fighting champion, Yokozuna was built up for months as unstoppable and both were wasted here. You could have had Bret lose and chase Yokozuna for the year, you could have had Bret go over and have Yokozuna rededicate himself to capture the championship. A lot of options but to have Hogan walk off and make both men look foolish in the process? Nah that’s awful! Wrestlemania IX is considered one of the worst like other early Wrestlemanias like I, II and IV. It’s not hard to see why, no new stars were made here and the booking is questionable at best. The company is in rough shape with stars hard to come by and yet here we are, relying on Hogan to save the day while Luger and Ramon got lucky wins and Bret and Yoko were made to look like fools and Taker is fighting a man that can barely wrestle. Thanks for reading and supporting, remember: there’s always another night!