WWE Summerslam 2009 Review!

 

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that struggles more with walking than Paul Wight! It’s time for WWE Summerslam 2009, the biggest part of the Summer with WWE going all out with a massive card of fun and exciting matches that should leave me foaming at the mouth. Could this break the string of poor PPVs that I have watched recently? That remains to be seen but we shall see soon enough as I am not even going to run down the card, I will explain it as it goes!

 

(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Dolph Ziggler VS Rey Mysterio ©

 

Rematch time, Ziggler jumps Mysterio to start the match. Mysterio fights back but eats a powerslam for two, Mysterio is sent to the corner but answers with a moonsault for two. Knee by Ziggler, Ziggler clubs Mysterio over and over. Ziggler is sent to the floor by Mysterio, Mysterio lands a diving apron hurricanrana into the barricade. Ziggler and Mysterio battle to the top of the turnbuckle, Mysterio headbutts Ziggler down. Ziggler counters a hurricanrana with a massive buckle bomb for two, Ziggler takes out his frustration with right hands to the head. Handstand head-lock from The Show-Off, sidewalk slam for two. Ziggler stomps Mysterio before landing a massive elbow for two, Ziggler goes back to the head-lock.

 

Mysterio escapes and drop toeholds Ziggler into the buckle before Ziggler catches Mysterio off-guard with a vicious clothesline, Ziggler picks up Mysterio for a gut-buster for two. More right-hands from Ziggler before clamping on a clutch. Mysterio escapes and starts his comeback, springboard seated senton. Crossbody is cut off but a sunset flip roll-through kick pays off for Mysterio. Two for Mysterio, diving crossbody is cut off by a dropkick by Ziggler. Two for Ziggler, Ziggler starts messing with Mysterio. Easy screams Ziggler, Mysterio dives over Ziggler. Mysterio almost had a sunset flip for two but Ziggler counters and rolls up Mysterio for a close two. Clothesline by Ziggler, Ziggler shoves Mysterio to the buckle. Second-time around Mysterio nails an enzuigiri but Ziggler dodges the 619.

 

Ziggler trips Mysterio from the floor and lands a Famouser for a close two. To the buckle, Mysterio kicks away Ziggler. Tilt-a-whirl by Mysterio but Ziggler forces a shoulder up to avoid being pinned. Mysterio plants Ziggler with a DDT for a close two, Mysterio kicks Ziggler into the middle rope. 619 connects, Mysterio looks for the splash. Ziggler sits up and avoids the splash, half-nelson from Ziggler for a close two. Ziggler tees off on Mysterio, Mysterio elbows Ziggler but he cannot stop Ziggler nail a massive boot. Top rope gut-buster is countered by Mysterio into a super hurricanrana for the win.

 

Hot-crowd for this one, Ziggler is growing in the fans’ eyes. Tremendous way to kick off the show, Ziggler’s body language was great throughout this match. Felt the desperation, felt the anger. Ziggler and Mysterio were much better than they were the first time around at Night of Champions, the false-finishes were great throughout well and Ziggler’s selling is this one was fantastic. Where do they go from here though? Regardless, this is a great match that I didn’t want to see going into this PPV because of 2K22 but pleasantly surprised at how much better this match was compared to its recreation in 2K22. Mysterio’s championship reign has been great but how will it end?

 

MVP vs Jack Swagger

This is an interesting period for me with MVP because I remember MVP coming in and having big feuds, doing some fun stuff with Matt Hardy and then I felt he would slide down the card into limbo until a tag team reign with Mark Henry. That’s not entirely true as MVP did have more Mania matches and mid-card feuds, not everyone’s idea of a babyface but MVP is here and trying. What makes this feud actually interesting is that it is a culture clash feud with Swagger being an upstanding and rich member of society while MVP was in prison for ten years.

 

Swagger jumps MVP, MVP answers with a big clothesline and slam. Swagger avoids the elbow, MVP lands a plancha. In the ring, MVP is on the middle rope. Swagger drops MVP and MVP lands on the back of his head. Swagger decides to work the back of MVP, quite brutally actually with fierce kidney shots. MVP elbows Swagger but Swagger goes right into an abdominal stretch. MVP tries a hip-toss but it’s a bad idea as the back gives out, Swagger lands a clothesline for two. Swagger goes into a camel clutch with cross-arms, MVP counters with an electric chair-drop for two. MVP drops Swagger with massive right hands, MVP lands The Ballin-Elbow. Two for MVP, Play-Maker is countered as Swagger shoves MVP into the buckle. Schoolboy with a handful of tights for two, Swagger-Bomb is blocked with knees. Player’s Boot and a Play-maker for the win.

 

It was fine, short if anything else. I felt the back-work was mean and nasty, could have really ramped up the sympathy in this one but it never reached that next level, I don’t think apart from the two submissions that the back was ever targeted again. Swagger was fine here, I don’t know what is going to happen in the next six months but I don’t see Swagger as World Champion material but I guess I will see what happens as the year progresses.

 

Winner: MVP over Jack Swagger via Play-Maker!

 

(WWE Unified Tag Team Championships Match) Jeri-Show © vs Cryme Tyme

Cryme Tyme haven’t appeared on PPV in I would say years confidently but I could always be wrong but yeah, it’s been a while and I asked the question who could possibly face Show & Jericho and well I have my answer. JTG & Jericho to start, side headlock from Jericho. Shoulder block by Jericho, crowd loves Y2J. JTG leapfrogs and lands an elbow to the face, running block-buster from JTG. Big kick and headbutt by Jericho, Irish whip reversal by JTG. Jericho tries for the walls, JTG fights his way out of it though and reverses a catapult to the corner. JTG lands a diving famouser for two, Jericho holds onto the ropes and cheap-shots JTG. In comes Big Show who slaps the chest of JTG hard in the corner.

 

Show has a side headlock and is wrenching poor JTG, JTG manages to boot Show and tag in Shad. Right hands and a clothesline, Show is still standing. Show sends Shad to the corner, Show misses a corner splash. Jericho is pressed by Shad, Show lands an enormous spear. Show steps on Shad’s head, Shad is being tortured in the corner now as Jericho and Show land big kicks and shots to the ribs of Shad. Forearm shots by Jericho but Jericho runs into a boot from Shad. JTG is knocked off the apron, JTG is showing his inexperience as the champions double-team Shad behind the referee’s back. Full-nelson from Show, Shad powers out but Show pulls Shad down by his hair. Jericho tags in and misses a massive elbow, can Shad make the tag?

 

No as Jericho cuts off the tag and applies a seated cobra-clutch, Shad fights out and lands a massive tilt-a-whirl body slam. Tag to JTG, running blockbuster and a dropkick. Corner face-buster, shot to Show’s face. Sling-blade by JTG, Show breaks up the pin. Show and Shad tumble to the floor, schoolboy by JTG on Jericho for a close two. Jericho looks for the Walls on JTG, Jericho slaps it on in the middle of the ring. JTG is thinking about tapping, JTG shows great fight to get to the ropes but Show lands a massive KO Punch for the win as Jericho covers.

 

Not bad, I still think of it as a massive waste to have Jericho & Show as a tag team but I have to get over it, Jericho still remains popular with the fans but obviously Show slows down things massively for Y2J when he’s in the ring, the gap in star-power between the two teams is huge. Tag division is in the toilet at the moment but it’s clear where the titles are going as the year continues with DX reuniting which means that this Jeri-Show run will result in no new stars being made which sucks.

 

Winners: Jeri-Show over Cryme-Tyme via KO Punch!

 

Kane vs The Great Khali

Kane defeated CM Punk but it went nowhere, Kane decided to interfere in championship matches and that also went nowhere. Kane helped Dolph Ziggler defat Khali and we have this feud as a result, Khali attacks Kane at first but Kane dodges a leg drop and lands a dropkick and elbows on Khali. Kane calls for a Chokeslam. Khali is too strong though, Khali wants a chokeslam. Kane counters but runs into a clothesline, elbow by Khali for two. Khali mounts Kane, a terrifying sight for sure. Punches rain down on Kane’s head, Kane meets the buckle, corner clothesline by Khali. Chest slap by Khali, boot by Kane. Kane climbs high, diving clothesline connects for a close two.

 

Sleeper from Kane, Khali works his way to his feet. Kane is shoved off and into an elbow, Khali lands a big boot. Khali wants a chop, it connects to the skull. Close two for Khali, Khali wants The Vice Grip. Kane is in the ropes, Kane grabs Singh and threatens him. Kane dropkicks Khali’s knee, a running DDT and this match is over.

 

Oh boy what a slow one folks. I think they could get a decent run out of Khali as a tag team but I am not sure they ever went that route. Regardless, if they are building Kane up again, why put him in there with Khali? It’s truly horrible and I could not wait for this one to end.

 

Winner: Kane over Great Khali via DDT!

 

Legacy vs D-Generation X

I actually like how this angle came about, Triple H wanted to murder Legacy and Randy Orton but Triple H was always out-gunned. Time and time again, Triple H could not get the job done as the numbers game was just too much for Triple H. For some reason, they went the comedy route again with DX. I think that’s a grand shame because Michaels had not been seen for months and Legacy were a thorn in Triple H’s side but they immediately went the comedy route with skits and all sorts of crap. It’s very strange to see Triple H from a character standpoint to go back to being goofy and fun considering again, these are the guys who helped Orton assault all of Triple H’s family.

 

Triple H and Dibiase start, lock-up and Triple H decks Dibiase with a right hand. Side headlock by Triple H, Dibiase pushes Triple H to the corner. Dibiase lands knees and rights, Triple H tosses Dibiase to the corner and lands rights. Dibiase sends Triple H to the buckle but Triple H explodes out with a clothesline followed by a suplex and a knee-drop for two. Dibiase kicks Triple H who lowered his head off an Irish whip, Triple H lands a high-knee on Rhodes. Rhodes responds with a slap to HBK, Triple H is going to give the crowd what they want so Michaels is in the ring for the first time since Wrestlemania 25. Lock-up and side headlock by Michaels, shoulder block but Rhodes slaps Michaels for the second time.

 

Michaels tackles Rhodes but Rhodes is on top, right hands by Rhodes. Irish whip and Thesz press by Michaels, slap by Michaels. Rhodes powders but Triple H shows Rhodes back in the ring, Michaels wants a superkick but Rhodes powders for a second time. Belly to back suplex by Rhodes, tag to Dibiase. Dibiase misses an elbow drop, Michaels chops Dibiase in the corner. Whip to the opposite buckle by Dibiase, vicious clothesline takes down Michaels. Dibiase mounts and lands right to the eye, Dibiase mouths off to the crowd. Tag to Rhodes, knee-drop for two. Tag to Dibiase who lands an elbow for two, reverse chin-lock from Dibiase. Michaels escapes and lands a neck-breaker, tag to Triple H. Triple H lands rights on both members of Legacy, Triple H is catapulted into the buckle but answers with a clothesline and two spine-busters.

 

Triple H measures for a pedigree but Rhodes takes down Triple H, Michaels clotheslines Rhodes to the floor and lands a tope on Rhodes. Dibiase low-blows Triple H, both men are down. Rhodes & Dibiase begin to soften up Triple H, two for Dibiase. Reverse chin-lock from Dibiase, Triple H struggles and struggles before nailing a belly to back suplex. Rhodes comes in fast for a beautiful DDT for two, front chancery from Rhodes. Triple H manages to land a back body-drop, Dibiase knocks Michaels off the apron. No hot-tag for now, kicks in the corner from Dibiase. Triple H goes low with a boot, right hands are traded by both men. Dibiase kicks low, Triple H sends Dibiase to the corner. Elbow by Dibiase but Triple H side-steps and sends Dibiase tumbling to the floor. Hot-tag to Michaels, right hands and inverted atomic drop with chops. Flying forearm by Michaels, Dibiase waffles Michaels in the back of the head with a clothesline. Triple H takes Dibiase off the apron and sends Dibiase into the crowd.

 

Rhodes is climbing high, Rhodes is thinking big move here. Diving elbow drop misses big time for Rhodes, Rhodes is bleeding from the mouth. Michaels is on the top rope, Rhodes crotches Michaels. Michaels takes right hands to the face, superplex is on the mind of Rhodes but HBK fights back and shoves down Rhodes. Rhodes manages to get his knees up to block the elbow drop, close two for Rhodes. Rhodes looks for a tag but Dibiase is in the crowd, Cross-Rhodes is blocked and reversed for a Figure-Four by HBK. Elbow drop interruption by Dibiase, Triple H wants a Pedigree but Rhodes takes out Triple H. Rhodes hits a weird looking bulldog, Michaels is caught and eats Cross-Rhodes but Triple H makes the save at the last second.

 

Dibiase shows his inexperience by arguing with the referee, Triple H nails a Pedigree behind the referee’s back, Dibiase nails Dream Street behind the referee’s back. Triple H and Dibiase spill to the floor and over the announce table, Rhodes is beginning to come to his senses. Both men are up and are leaning on one another to stand up before Michaels delivers Sweet Chin Music for the win!

 

A fun match but not great or the war the commentators would want you to believe, I really do like the idea of Triple H bringing back Michaels to get rid of Legacy who have been costing him the championship and tormenting his family for months, almost a year at this point but the comedy-skits are utterly ridiculous and it is an element that you just don’t need for an angle like this. Michaels wasn’t in there all that much, maybe Michaels was truly spent following that Wrestlemania XXV match. It hurts to think that there might be a decline when it comes to Shawn Michaels inside that ring but I will be watching on and making my mind up on that. Dibiase & Rhodes have good heat but really lacking the intensity and presence to be in there with DX, hoping they both come out looking good when all is said and done.

 

Winners: DX over Legacy via Sweet Chin Music!

 

(ECW World Championship Match) Christian © vs William Regal

The ECW championship is back where it belongs as Tommy Dreamer has taken his place at a scrappy babyface on the ECW roster. ECW is too small for someone of the caliber of Regal & Christian but I will enjoy this one, no doubts about this.

 

Regal’s style is always interesting to see how it mixes with other WWE wrestlers but Christian has proven to be awesome when it comes to adapting to other wrestlers’ styles. And….. Christian has nailed Regal with an Unprettier as Regal tried to take off his rope and it’s over, Chirstian retains. Kozlov & Ezekiel take out Christian after the bell. So this was an angle more than a match. Well that sucks for me!

 

Winner: Christian over William Regal via Kill-Switch!

 

(WWE World Championship Match) Randy Orton © vs John Cena

Orton has ran through everyone on the WWE RAW roster, Orton has used Rhodes & Dibiase to hold onto his championship, Orton had even managed to defeat John Cena in a triple threat at the previous pay per view but tonight it is one on one with The Leader of The Cenation. Both men feeling one another out, Cena takes down Orton into a front chancery. Orton wriggles free with a hammerlock, Cena rolls through but Orton looks unfazed. Cena takes the arm but a right-hand by Orton sends Cena to the mat, right hands from the champion.

 

Orton stomps Cena in the corner, Orton kicks and toys with Cena. Cena answers back with a massive spear, Orton is whipped to the buckle. Massive face-buster for two, Orton elbows Cena down with authority. Orton rakes his boot off Cena’s face, uppercuts in the corner. More stomps and right hands by Orton, hard Irish whip to the buckle. Orton is taking his time, whip to the buckle with Cena crashing hard to the mat. Orton is spitting up blood and not happy about it, Orton begins stomping various body-parts. Garvin stomp anyone? Orton has Cena where he needs him, Orton takes a breather and takes aim with a massive knee drop across the throat for a two-count. Cena begins to fight back though, right hands before Cena gets dropped with a back-breaker for two.

 

Orton clamps on a reverse chin-lock, Cena breaks free of the hold and lands his trademark shoulder blocks and belly to back suplex. Five-Knuckle Shuffle connects middle of the ring, AA is countered for a powerslam. Two for Orton, Orton lands two stomps but misses a knee drop. Cena lands right hands but gets reversed off an Irish whip, shoulder block misses and Cena crashes and burns to the floor. Cena finds himself on the apron, kick by Orton who snaps and goes for that vicious DDT. Shoots the half for two, Orton stalks Cena. Orton decides that it’s Punt time! Cena ducks and lands a boot followed by a Throw-back, Cena climbs to the top rope. Kobashi-style Leg-Drop connects, 1…2… Orton kicks out!

 

Cena calls for The AA, Orton uses the ropes to hang on and avoid the move, double clothesline in the middle of the ring. Slugfest between the two, Cena wins the war. Back body-drop, Orton slapped or shoved the referee and grabbed his championship. This is over? No! Mr. Mcmahon says that this match has to be restarted and that if Orton gets Disqualified, Orton will lose his WWE Championship. Orton charges in as the match restarts, Cena flattens Orton with a sidewalk slam. Hard Irish whip by Cena, Orton spills to the floor. Cena hits the steel steps hard courtesy of the champion, two in the ring. Orton looks a little lost, Orton asks for his championship. Orton does not care about being counted out, same situation where the match will be restarted due to Orton’s attempts at cheating. Orton runs into a drop toehold, Orton shoves off Cena. Cena tries an AA but Orton slips out and rolls-up Cena with his feet on the ropes. Orton has beaten Cena! Wait another referee says that Orton cheated and the match is restarted, Cena lands a vicious clothesline and slaps on his STF. Orton screams and screams, a fan or is it Freddie Prince Jr? Who knows but the referee is taken out, everything stops awkwardly. Orton is on the floor, Orton slithers into the ring before luring Cena into an apron RKO, RKO in the middle of the ring and Orton wins!

 

What the fuck was this business? Seriously what an overbooked mess? So it originally is fine with Orton being screwed over for his cheating ways, no problem but Orton beats Cena twice? Two pin-falls on Cena? The fan interruption was so weird as everything stopped, Cena was not caught off-guard by Orton. Both men had time to recover and Cena walked right into an RKO like a rookie who didn’t have any experience. If the finish was always going to be Orton retaining with his championship, why go through all of this? Cena looks like a massive loser at the end of all this, not to mention they weren’t exactly lighting the wrestling world on fire inside of that ring. Overbooked trash from the RAW brand.

 

Winner: Randy Orton over John Cena via RKO!

 

(WWE World Heavyweight Championship TLC Match) Jeff Hardy © vs CM Punk

Failure was not an option for Jeff Hardy, Hardy had survived dirty tactics from Punk and won the championship that he had chased since losing it at Royal Rumble 2009. However, Punk had his rematch clause but poor Punk could not do anything as Jeff Hardy decided that it would be a TLC Match. Very wild to think that the Smackdown scene in 2009 had I Quit matches and Ladder matches and TLC matches. The commentators say that the match favours Hardy but I think that’s a bit weird to say when Punk has won two mania ladder matches back to back.

 

They lock-up aggressively, Punk elbows and knees Hardy in the corner. Punk sends Hardy to the floor, Punk grabs a chair early in the match. To the ribs and across the spine, Punk leaves Hardy down on the floor. Punk decides to go for the quick win, grabbing the ladder and setting it up in the middle of the ring. Hardy pushes down the ladder and lands clotheslines on Punk, Hardy is demolishing Punk with rights and lefts, Hardy lands his Hardyiac Arrest Dropkick. Terrible name but devastating move, Hardy tries climbing for the gold but Punk kicks his legs out. Punk’s GTS is countered as the challenger is shoved into the ladder. Poetry in Motion is countered as Punk catches Hardy and drops him onto the chair.

 

Punk drops a ladder on Hardy over and over, Punk wipes out Hardy with a spinning heel kick. Punk throws Hardy to the floor, Punk lands a nasty suicide dive on Hardy. Punk tries to place the chair on Hardy’s head but Hardy shoves away Punk, Punk misses a shot against the ring-post. Hardy lands all sorts of shots before Punk nails a knee, Punk avoids the steel steps by jumping on them but Hardy answers Punk with a chair to the chest and face. Poetry in Motion into the barricade by Hardy, Punk has a chair tossed across his back. Punk is placed on a table parallel to the turnbuckle. Hardy misses the splash big time, Punk moved out of the way and Hardy went splat on the ground. Punk grabs a ladder across his back and begins climbing, Hardy manages to stop Punk.

 

Hardy begins to leap over Punk, Punk stops Hardy with an electric chair like hold. Punk transitions for a GTS but Hardy counters for a lovely powerbomb. Hardy is so close touching the championship before Punk tips the ladder and Hardy crashes into the buckle. Punk is looking for a superplex on the ladder, this looks rough. Punk connects in a brutal fucking bump, they are both back up almost immediately though, Hardy lands a Twist of Fate. Swanton Bomb is countered with knees to the spine, Punk wanted a bulldog but Hardy dropped him to the floor through a table. Hardy climbs but Punk lands his springboard clothesline to stop the charismatic enigma, Punk takes a chair from ringside. Punk has the chair on Hardy’s head, Hardy blocks and sends Punk into the steel steps. Hardy wears out Punk with chair-shots across the back, Punk is smashed in the face with an announce table monitor and a chair-shot to the face. Hardy grabs a twenty foot ladder, Hardy places it by the announce table. Hardy is up on top of the ladder, Swanton Bomb through the announce table in an insane spot!

 

EMTs are out, Hardy refuses to leave on the stretcher. Hardy is frustrated but determined, they crawl to the top of the ladder. Hardy cannot stop Punk as Punk kicks Hardy square in the ribs that are hinted at being broken and one more punch to the head, Hardy plummets off the top of the ladder to the canvas. Incredible visual from the ladder shows how hard Hardy hits the mat, absolutely horrific looking but Punk grabs the championship and celebrates ever so briefly as a gong goes off and we see that The Undertaker is back and Punk will be his next victim, hell of a way to hook the fans to tune into Smackdown.

 

A war between these two, you could feel the hatred between the two in this one. The shots were flying in, the chair-shots had so much menace behind them, truly a battle between two men who despised one another. Hardy’s injuries at this point were as long as a shopping list so to go out there and still take those bumps especially the announce table Swanton Bomb is insane!

 

Winner: CM Punk over Jeff Hardy via Retrieval of The Championship!

 

That was WWE’s Summerslam 2009, a hit and miss for one of the Big 4 of the year. Let’s break it down: We kick things off with a fantastic showcase for Ziggler, Mysterio is as popular as ever and recovering well from the Jericho feud, it may be a step-down but Ziggler is certainly stepping up to the plate so far and I have enjoyed this more than their previous encounter. Things dip immediately with Swagger vs MVP, MVP has very much fallen down the card by this time while Swagger is on the way up, the finish was quite shocking for me but I guess they have to rebuild Swagger now that he’s no longer on ECW. Just a match that would feel at home on RAW, not PPV-worthy. Show & Jericho vs Cryme Tyme is not that fun, you have Jericho who was his hottest in terms of momentum over the last year and it feels like it’s being squandered, the tag team division is held together by sticky-tape and they are trying to put focus on it with two big teams in DX and Jeri-Show but I would much rather see Jericho in singles’ matches than wasting himself against acts who are hardly over with the audience. Things do not get better with Kane vs Khali, really bad match here.

 

DX vs Legacy is nice because of Michaels coming back to the ring, someone sorely missed on the roster but the comedic tone to the feud is something I am not in love with it at all, Legacy tormented Triple H. Took out his family, attacked his wife and cost him his ultimate goal of being WWE Champion on multiple occasions, they are the worst people in the world for Triple H so why are we doing comedy stuff about this? It should be an absolute war but it just doesn’t feel like it and DX winning felt guaranteed before the bell rang, really disappointing. Cena vs Orton, what can I say? I cannot believe such a finish exists for the top babyface in the company. Super-Cena of all people being pinned clean as a sheet in such dumb fashion? Incredible, they work well together and both men are over so fans react but man alive, that was woeful. The main event delivers and shows why Jeff Hardy was getting this main event spots over Cena, it was the more intriguing angle and Jeff’s risk-taking nature, it's a soul-crushing end to his career in WWE at that point but you cannot say that Jeff didn’t leave it all in the ring, scary bumps taking in such short time, mere months between this and the match with Edge. Worthy of the main event spot for sure, a very unbalanced card in terms of quality here but the main event is definitely something to seek out to see the finish of one of the brighter spots of WWE during a difficult period. Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!