Hello and welcome to another coma-inducing edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that wants a Switchblade decimation of Tanahashi! WWE’s New Years Revolution 2007, the WWE’s introduction to the year 2007. Headlined by the unstoppable Umaga against the ace of WWE, one John Cena. Other big matches on the card include Rated RKO battling D-Generation X while Carlito faces Chris Masters and the Intercontinental Championship is defended inside of a steel cage. Seems like a balls to the walls beginning to 2007 for the pay per view which is nice considering this pay per view has typically been a one match show.
Yeah not really feeling this promo for one reason: It is very similar to the case of The Mcmahons vs DX. DX had funs of games, the heels got serious and now DX are serious. Rinse and repeat, Cena and Umaga looks like a war though. I fear for Umaga though, that unbeaten run looks awful shaky when it comes to surviving against the one and only John Cena.
(WWE Intercontinental Championship Match) Johnny Nitro W/ Melina vs Jeff Hardy © (Steel Cage Match)
We have had tag team matches between the two, we have seen ladder matches and now the feud will end inside of a steel cage. Jeff Hardy came back with a tonne of momentum, showing the popularity that Hardy commanded rocketing The Charismatic Enigma straight to the intercontinental championship. Pin-fall/submission and escape the cage are the ways to win, they lock-up with Nitro clubbing Hardy in the back. Uppercut and stomps by the challenger, forearms to the ribs. Hardy fights back with right hands of his own, stomps in the corner. Hard Irish whip and more stomps by Hardy, Melina cheers on Nitro.
Ten punches by Hardy, slingshot dropkick by the champion for two. Sit-out facebuster by Nitro for two, Hardy fights out of a hold for a sit-out suplex. Two for Hardy, Hardy misses a corner clothesline which leads to a springboard enzuigiri by Nitro for two. Nitro tries escaping, Hardy yanks down Nitro. Neckbreaker by Hardy, Hardy heads for the door but Nitro drags back in Hardy. Corkscrew mule kick by Hardy, Hardy begins climbing the cage. Nitro dropkicks Hardy down, Hardy is in between the ropes and the cage. Hotshot by Nitro, Nitro squishes Hardy against the cage. Huge knee to the ribs by Nitro, Nitro and Hardy end up on the top rope, Hardy dropkicks Nitro off the cage wall. Both men fall to the mat, Nitro whips Hardy to the corner. Hardy begins climbing up the cage, Nitro gives chase and delivers a big back superplex.
Elbows by Nitro, Hardy catapults Nitro into the cage wall. Hardy begins climbing, Nitro smacks Hardy. They stand on the top rope, Russian legsweep by Hardy. They brawl to the corner of the cage, Nitro is on the very top of the cage. Sunset flip powerbomb by Nitro, Nitro makes it to the top of the cage once more. Hardy is in pursuit, Hardy leaves Nitro in the tree of woe on the cage. Nitro eventually frees himself, Melina stops Hardy climbing the cage with her belt. Nitro missile dropkicks Hardy, Nitro tries a crossbody from the top but Hardy slams Nitro. Swanton Bomb by Hardy, Nitro places his foot on the ropes at two and a half. Clotheslines by Hardy, back drop by the champion. Nitro boots Hardy and begins climbing the cage.
Hardy grabs Nitro’s foot, Hardy is climbing with Nitro. The two are battling on top of the cage, Nitro has almost escaped but Hardy drags back in Nitro. Hardy tries a super twist of fate but Nitro shoves off Hardy. Nitro is climbing, Hardy is crawling to the door. Melina is blocking the door, Nitro is above the door. Hardy dropkicks the door which leads to Nitro crotching himself on the door, Hardy crawls out to victory.
Very similar to the ending of X-Pac vs Chris Jericho at No Mercy 2000, it was a fun spotfest in parts with Hardy and Nitro showing off the crazy bumps that the two were known for taking. If you are looking for a fun cage match, this is for you, you won’t find a hate-filled war which sucks for a blow-off to the feud but it has been enjoyable.
Winner: Jeff Hardy over Johnny Nitro via Escape!
Rated RKO Promo
Edge and Orton plan to take out DX, DX are old and should not be dominating Raw. It is the year of Randy Orton and Edge! Good stuff from the two, wish they were allowed to do more on the Raw brand.
(Tag Team Turmoil Match) The Highlanders vs The World’s Greatest Tag Team vs Cryme Tyme vs Jim Duggan & Super Crazy vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Two teams start, Haas and Rory begin. Headbutt by Rory, tag to Robbie. Double suplex, tag to Rory. Drop toehold and elbow, hard Irish whip by Rory. Benjamin helps Haas dodge a corner splash, clothesline by Haas. Leapfrog back splash by Benjamin, two for Benjamin. Tag to Haas, backbreaker by Haas for two. Knee to the back by Haas, tag to Benjamin. Knee by Benjamin, reverse chinlock by Benjamin. Rory escapes, small package for two. Backslide does not work, Benjamin takes down Rory. Rory escapes and tags Robbie, scoop slams and dropkicks. Benjamin is knocked to the floor, back suplex on Haas. Robbie is on the top rope, Benjamin rakes the eyes of Robbie. Top rope superplex by Benjamin and The Highlanders are gone.
The Highlanders Have Been Eliminated!
Super Crazy and Duggan are out, Duggan smacks Benjamin all over the place. Clothesline by Duggan, Haas nails Duggan from the apron. Knee lift by Benjamin, tag to Haas. Duggan begins to shake off Haas, three-point stance clothesline on Duggan. Tag to Super Crazy, dropkick to Haas. Wheelbarrow snapmare into a low dropkick, standing moonsault. Benjamin nails a cheap shot on Super Crazy, German Suplex by Haas for the elimination.
Super Crazy & Duggan Have Been Eliminated!
Cade & Murdoch sprint to the ring, they maul The World’s Greatest Tag Team. Benjamin begins to fight back, they are now playing babyfaces which is funny. Huge boot by Murdoch, mounted punches to Benjamin. Knee to the back by Murdoch, neck crank from Murdoch. Tag to Cade, big elbows for two. Tag to Murdoch, Benjamin counters a suplex for a neckbreaker. Haas gets the hot-tag, boots and dropkicks follow. Exploder on Cade, missile dropkick on Murdoch. Cade and Benjamin begin brawling, flapjack by Haas on Murdoch. Cade drops a huge elbow on the face of Haas, Cade rugby tackles Benjamin which leads to the elimination as Haas cannot kick out after the massive elbow drop.
The World’s Greatest Tag Team Have Been Eliminated!
Cryme Tyme are here, Shad roughs up Cade before a tag to JTG. Cade knees JTG, tag to Murdoch. Backslide by JTG, blind tag by Cade. High & Low combination by Cade & Murdoch, Murdoch roughs up JTG on the floor. Two for Cade, Murdoch tags in with a massive elbow. Choke by Murdoch, Murdoch chokes JTG with the tag rope. Massive right by Cade, tag to Murdoch. Small package by JTG, referee is with Cade. Murdoch pulls JTG to his corner, tag to Cade. Scoop slam by Murdoch, JTG blocks an axe handle with a boot.
Tag to Shad does not happen, Cade knocks Shad off the apron. JTG escapes a double suplex to tag Shad, Shad pummels Cade & Murdoch. Corner clotheslines, Murdoch clubs Shad from behind. JTG stops the high & low, G-9 by Cryme Tyme on Cade for the win.
Not a great match by any means, the crowd was very quiet throughout the match. Also weird to see The World’s Greatest Tag Team play heels for the first two matches and then we were just meant to flip-flop and like the duo against Cade & Murdoch? Nah, that was never going to work. Raw tag division and Smackdown division are both pretty weak at the time.
Winners: Cryme Tyme over Everyone Else via G-9!
Kenny Dykstra vs Ric Flair
Dykstra broke out of the pack, Dykstra was meant to be the star of The Spirit Squad. Thank God that terrible gimmick ended, Dykstra wants to prove that he is the man by taking out Flair. Shoulder block, strut and woo by Dykstra, side headlock by Flair. Shoulder block by Flair, dropkick by Dykstra for two. Fist drop by Dykstra, Flair chops back at Dykstra. Back drop by Flair, chop and down goes Dykstra. More chops, back elbow by Flair and Dykstra is chopped to the floor. Dykstra suplexes Flair on the floor, two for Dykstra. Suplex in the ring for two, elbow to the back for two. Boston crab by Dykstra, Flair makes it to the ropes after an agonizing amount of time. Chops by Flair, Dykstra out-strikes Flair. Dykstra tries the figure four which leads to a small package by Flair for two.
Flair chops down Dykstra once more, more right hands to the face. Flair and Dykstra battle it out before Flair eye rakes Dykstra and chop blocks Dykstra multiple times. Knee drop by Flair, Figure Four from Flair. Dykstra is almost pinned, Dykstra reaches the ropes. Flair nails rights and lefts, Flair shoves down the referee who was in the way. Low blow by Dykstra and inside cradle for the win.
I liked this match, it may not have been a lot inside of the ring but the story of cocky arrogant ass taking on veteran in Flair. Hoping that Dykstra can continue to grow inside of the ring, here’s hoping though.
Winner: Kenny Dykstra over Ric Flair via Shenanigans!
(WWE Women’s Championship Match) Victoria vs Mickie James ©
Victoria is scratching people off her list and I can say that I am a very happy man as the women lost Trish and Lita in the span of three months which means they needed a top star in Mickie and someone to solidify her and when you have no real wrestlers on your Raw diva roster, you turn to a real women’s wrestler in Victoria. This should be as good as it gets for the time, they lock-up with Victoria shoving down Mickie. Front chancery by Victoria, Mickie escapes using a monkey flip. Arm-wringer by Mickie, Victoria counters for a side headlock. Shoulder block by Victoria, drop toehold by Mickie. Armdrags by Mickie, nice dropkick for two. Victoria blocks the headscissors out of the corner, huge head kick by Victoria. Mickie falls to the floor, holding her head.
Baseball slide, small package by Mickie for two. Victoria kicks Mickie in the head, middle rope choke by Victoria. Top rope choke by Victoria, more kicks by Victoria. Massive hair-toss by Victoria, two for Victoria. Victoria misses a middle rope moonsault, clotheslines by Mickie. Jabs by Mickie, huge shotei from Mickie for two. Mickie nails her headscissors from the corner, Victoria rolls to the apron. Victoria is bumped to the floor, Melina is here. Mickie smacks Melina in the face, Melina stops Mickie’s DDT. Maria and Candice attack Melina, Victoria’s powerslam is countered into The MickieDT.
Solid women’s wrestling match, Victoria beating the crap out of Divas is always a joy to watch while Mickie James can actually work which adds so much to the match (Funny isn’t it?). That could be the best women’s match in the WWE for the year and it is only January but I believe it is a while before we see Melina blossom in the ring or the arrival of Beth Phoenix. Solid work you too, Victoria is so underappreciated it is scary!
Winner: Mickie James over Victoria via MickieDT!
(WWE World Tag Team Championship Match) Rated RKO © vs D-Generation X
They two their best to set up how serious all of this is but I seen it during the summer with The Mcmahons, I have seen it before. However, the two all they can in the video package to make you believe that DX are much more mad than they were when they sadistically tore apart The Mcmahons inside of the steel cage. Triple H back drops Edge on the ramp, Michaels sends Orton into the steel steps. Triple H stomps and chokes Edge, corner clothesline by Triple H. HBK is in, chops by Michaels. Edge dodges a corner spear, Michaels hits the ringpost hard. Orton’s legal, hard Irish whip. Michaels boots away Orton, snapmare and stomp by Michaels. Tag to Triple H, right hand by The Game. Orton eats elbows across the apron, apron leg drop by HBK.
Orton is bleeding, tag to Michaels. HBK bites Orton’s head, tag to Triple H. Edge cheap shots The Game from the apron, Triple H batters both before a chop block from Edge sends Triple H down. Tag to Edge, Edge stomps all over the leg. Triple H tags out after escaping Edge’s clutches, Michaels pummels Edge. Orton is knocked off the apron, inverted atomic drop and scoop slam to Edge. Huge elbow drop on Edge, Orton clotheslines Michaels. Triple H clotheslines Orton to the floor, Edge is elevated over the top. Plancha by Michaels, Michaels tries to re-enter the ring but Orton distracts HBK which leads to a Spear from Edge. Orton clobbers Michaels with the championship, Triple H comes to beat up Orton.
Michaels is bleeding, Edge gets in a few shots before tagging Orton. Orton nails a backbreaker for two, tag to Edge. Stomps by Edge, mounted punches to the face of HBK. Tag to Orton, Orton clubs the shit out of HBK. Orton poses on Michaels, more right hands by Orton. Edge nails a backbreaker and Triple H has seen enough, Triple H smacks Orton and Edge. Edge regains control with a surfboard like stretch, Michaels fights out of the hold. Boot puts an end to Michaels’ flurry, tag to Orton. Orton wants an RKO, Michaels shoves off Orton. Tag to Triple H, clotheslines all around. High knee, right hands to Orton. Facebuster to Edge, Edge is clotheslined to the floor. Spinebuster to Orton and Triple H’s quad is gone.
Spinebuster on Edge for two, the referee makes that dreaded “X” symbol. Orton saves Edge from a Pedigree, RKO on Triple H. Michaels nails Orton with Sweet Chin Music, Edge covers The Game for two. Triple H avoids the spear from Edge, Pedigree on Edge. They edit out Orton botching it with the chair, Edge kicks out at two. Michaels nails a suicide dive on Orton, Michaels decks the referee and wipes out Rated RKO with the chair. Triple H Pedigrees Edge on the table, Michaels elbows Orton through the other table as the match is ruled a no-contest.
Until the end, I thought it lacked a lot of the intensity that was pushed in the video package. Michaels is a God damn selling machine, the man evokes levels of sympathy that hit me on a level that rivals the likes of Ricky Steamboat and Kenta Kobashi. The man is just made for selling beatings, Michaels is the hook of the match and Michaels got me good. Michaels takes it upon himself to save the match at the end with quick thinking while the ending was quite brutal from HBK too. Also, props to Triple H for finishing the match on one leg, the man is an animal despite what you may think of his position in wrestling.
Carlito W/ Torrie Wilson vs Chris Masters
It is the rebirth of Masters, it has been a long ass time since we have see Masters on pay per view. Carlito was fast-tracking his way to the intercontinental championship before the return of Jeff Hardy blew all that up in smoke for Carlito. First flirting with Trish and now we have Carlito with Torrie, Masters locked The Masterlock on Torrie for God knows what reason and this led to Carlito making the save.
Lock-up, takedown by Carlito who pounds on Masters. Stomps and right hands, middle rope bulldog for two. Masters bulldogs Carlito with ease, Masters shows Torrie his muscles. Scoop slam by Masters, massive kick to the ribs. Carlito escapes a back suplex for a dropkick, Masters elevates Carlito to the apron. Carlito springboards for a beautiful moonsault for two, both men tease the masterlock.
Half-nelson by Masters, more right hands by Masters. Hair-drag by Masters, backbreaker by Masters for two. Make it another backbreaker, Masters uses the move to stretch Carlito. Carlito fights back before a huge lariat, two for Masters. Carlito battles back, springboard elbow by Carlito. Running knee lift and clothesline, complete shot for two. Masters reverses a bulldog and roll-up for a win, Masters attacks Carlito after the match. Masterlock to Carlito.
Well, that was garbage and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Masters, the heel won clean in like slow motion? I cannot believe that happened, I mean it was like they were rehearsing as Masters watched Carlito do all the work and reverse the roll-up. It was boring, poor Masters had not progressed one step since they fought almost a year ago as their team was torn apart. Carlito should not be losing here, Carlito has potential please do not waste it when you have such a good thing.
Winner: Chris Masters over Carlito via Roll-Up!
(WWE Championship Match) Umaga W/ Armando Estrada vs John Cena ©
The Samoan Bulldozer is undefeated for nine months, Triple H, Ric Flair, Kane and Shawn Michaels are some of the names that Umaga has run through. Cena stands in Umaga’s way, Cena is the only man who could stop the monster’s reign. Cena punches Umaga to no effect, Umaga continues to charge at Cena regardless of Cena’s barrage of punches. Cena sidesteps Umaga, Umaga tosses Cena to the floor from the apron. Cena meets the steel steps, Umaga roughs up Cena in the ring. Stomp, Cena is wobbling around the ring. Samoan drop by Umaga, Cena is bumped from the apron to the announce table. Cena tries a sunset flip from the apron, Umaga misses a hip attack. Cena tries the scoop slam but Umaga is far too heavy and Umaga almost steals the win.
Leg drop by Umaga, massive kick by Umaga. Cena fights back and tries a crossbody, massive slam by Umaga. Cena places a foot on the ropes, shoulder block by Umaga. Cena ducks a shoulder block, throwback by Cena. Umaga shakes it off for a spinning heel kick, Umaga squishes and toys with Cena. Cena avoids a banzai drop using his knees, Cena attempts an FU but Umaga is too much to carry. Cena is thrown to the floor, more clubbing blows by Umaga. Cena fires up but eats an elbow to the face, Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt.
Cena begins to come to his senses, slugfest between the two. Cena batters Umaga, clothesline does not knock the monster. Spike to the ribs of Cena, Umaga misses a corner splash. Spinning side slam by Cena, Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena’s back does not allow The FU, belly to belly suplex by Umaga. Umaga leaves Cena in the tree of woe, diving headbutt by Umaga. Umaga sets up for his hip attack, Cena kicks away Umaga. Roll-up and Cena manages to pin Umaga.
This was quite a good match, excellent job of making Umaga seem like an unstoppable force, Umaga dominated large portions of the match and all in entertaining fashion I might add, I do not think Samoans know what it is like to have a bad match, those bastards. Umaga batters Cena and Cena has to use a roll-up for the win, I may have preferred Umaga hitting his back of an exposed ringpost or something to really protect Umaga and perhaps a bit more of Umaga looking like the match was over and it was Umaga’s arrogance that cost him but this was still a fine match.
Winner: John Cena over Umaga via Roll-Up!
That was WWE’s New Year’s Revolution 2007, a solid pay per view from the Raw brand. The previous two had been one match shows with the elimination chamber taking centre stage but this pay per view had cage matches, a nice brawl between DX and Rated RKO and a great little title match between Cena and Umaga. It had nothing super memorable like the elimination chamber matches of the years gone by but this was an enjoyable two-hour plus pay per view of wrestling that was a breeze to review. So, thumbs-up from me, thanks for reading and remember: There’s always another night!