Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is Ucey every night of the week! It’s WCW Bash At The Beach 1995! Hulk Hogan vs Vader inside the steel cage, the second steel cage match for the world championship involving Hogan in a matter of 7/8 months. Not sure how this is going to go considering their last encounter but a cage match with no blood is low on my list of fun times. We also have a rematch as Meng battles against Sting for the WCW United States Championship while Renegade is going to defend his Television Championship against Paul Orndorff. We are also going to have Kamala vs Jim Duggan? What? Dave Sullivan continues his feud against DDP which should be a good laugh hopefully and this PPV takes place on a beach so it’s not exactly WCW’s usual audience (Think Road Wild with the bikers except everyone is in swimming gear) so we shall see unfold, let’s get it on!
(WCW United States Heavyweight Championship Match) Sting © vs Meng W/ Colonel Robert Parker
Meng gets a rematch and a video package showing how much of a badass he is which is great, Meng corners Sting to begin. Sting sells the educated feet of Meng, Sting is hesitant to close the distance. Meng locks up with Sting, sends him to the corner and lands chops and forearms, Sting is fighting back though with right hands and chops. Another lock-up, clean break from Meng does not happen as Meng lands shoulder blocks and shoulder chops. Meng chokes Sting in the corner, the referee cannot stop Meng. The challenger has Sting on his knees, Meng wants a suplex but Sting blocks and we have a clean break. Sting clotheslines Meng but Meng holds his position. Meng poses and Sting considers a different strategy, lock-up and Meng rakes the eyes. Tomahawk chops and a scoop slam, Meng misses a middle rope headbutt. Sting goes for the Scorpion Death-Lock, Colonel Parker is on the apron distracting Sting.
Sting is kicked in the spine by Meng who throws Sting to the floor, Sting is bounced off the buckle. Suplex into the ring for a close two, triple back-breaker from Meng for two. Meng continues to dish out punishment to Sting, Sting is thrown to the buckle and caught in an abdominal stretch. Sting fights back and tries a sunset flip but Meng is in the ropes. Sunset flip attempt by Meng but Sting blocks and drops his ass onto Meng’s head. Both men are on their hands and knees and Meng headbutts Sting. Sting is dragged to the middle of the ring, Texas cloverleaf from Meng. Sting makes it to the ropes, Meng stomps Sting.
Running elbow drop misses Sting, Sting lands a belly to back suplex. Sting begins his comebacks with massive clotheslines, back body drop and a chop block from Sting. Flying Lou Thesz Press for two, Sting lands a hurricanrana with a cover for two, Sting is all fired up now. Sting is sent to the buckle, Meng is caught with a diving crossbody. Sting wants the splash, Stinger Splash is blocked with a massive boot in the face. Meng covers Sting but Sting places his foot on the ropes. Meng slams Sting and climbs high, Meng wants a splash. Meng connects with the splash for a close two, Parker is irate at ringside. Irish whip by Meng, Meng goes for a boot but misses as Sting rolls him up for the win. Meng gets his heat back after the match with an attack on Sting.
I like Sting and I like Meng too but this was not great, some big moments and cool things going on at times but not enough to keep me entertained. Happy for Sting’s continued push, not sure what to do with Parker at this stage, his Stud Stable never dominated WCW and Parker has feuded with everyone at this stage so probably best to wrap up that angle but we shall see, you never know with WCW. Happy to see where Sting goes next, Meng will do fine by breaking people up.
Winner: Sting over Meng via Roll-Up!
(WCW World Television Championship Match) The Renegade © W/ Jimmy Hart vs Paul Orndorff
Arn Anderson was having some fun matches with the championship before running into Renegade who WCW want to push to the top. His opponent is Paul Orndorff who has been mostly out of the picture since the end of Pretty Wonderful, this match starts with Orndorff taking down Renegade with a shot to the gut and pulling him down by his hair. Orndorff is taking the piss out of the crowd but runs into the boot of Renegade. Shoulder block and clothesline, Orndorff is clotheslined to the floor into the sand, that looked a little rough for the challenger. Back in the ring, Renegade squeezes the head of Orndorff. Orndorff seems to be calling the whole match to Renegade, shoulder block and dropkick by Renegade. Orndorff picks up some sand, luring in Renegade and throwing the sand into his eyes. Belly to back suplex by Orndorff, Orndorff continues to smash Renegade in the face. Renegade rallies but Orndorff cuts off Renegade with a dropkick. Fans are cheering for Orndorff, piledriver time. Renegade blocks and back drops Orndorff, terrible looking dropkicks by Renegade. Renegade is jumping vertically it looks bizarre, powerslam to no reaction for Renegade.
Renegade stalks Orndorff, Orndorff begs for mercy before throwing Renegade to the floor. Knees to the head by Orndorff, Orndorff wants a suplex but Renegade slips out and lands a belly to back suplex with a pin, Orndorff had his shoulder up and there is controversy, is that the legit ending? Well Orndorff gets his heat back but kicking the shit out of Renegade. Crowd is going nuts for the piledriver and well, your babyface shakes it off but nobody wants to see Renegade take down Orndorff. Talk about completely mis-reading the situation.
Mercifully short, I feel like Renegade might possibly be able to do some things right in the ring but the gimmick holds him back significantly. Crowd have turned on him which tells you all you need to know. In the times where 90% of the crowd is happy to cheer the babyfaces and boo the heels, this is a really bad sign for Renegade.
Winner: The Renegade over Paul Orndorff via Belly To Back Suplex!
Kamala W/ The Taskmaster vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Oh good lord, this might pass in the WWF in the late 80s but in 1995, you really going to make me sit through this? They lock-up and slug it out, Duggan is winning the war and almost knocks down Kamala. Clothesline by Duggan, Kamala is still on his feet. Third clothesline knocks down Kamala, Kamala is begging for mercy or a hug, no idea what is going on here to be honest. Eye rake by Kamala, chops to the head of Duggan. Multiple headbutt by Kamala and a superkick, choke across the top rope. Bearhug from Kamala, Duggan attempts to fight his way out of the hold. Headbutt from Duggan, Kamala regains control. Kamala works the armpit? Duggan bites the head and ear of Kamala, Duggan tees off on Kamala. Clothesline by Duggan, scoop slam by Duggan. Three-Point Stance Clothesline by Duggan, Taskmaster is on the apron. Zodiac nails Duggan with an object to the back of the head and covers for the win.
Mercifully short again, I like Duggan and he’s on the spot he needs to be in on the card but the cheese-fest of Duggan vs Kamala is something I don’t need to see in WCW. It goes exactly how you think it would and depending on your level of patience, this is either agonizing or inoffensive at best.
Winner: Kamala over Hacksaw Jim Duggan via Shenanigans!
DDP W/ The Diamond Doll vs Dave Sullivan
Evad is here, DDP is grabbed by the head and that is one ugly attire on Page. Dave shoves roses down the throat of DDP, DDP meets the buckle. Suplex into the ring. Clothesline by Dave, Dave lands a shoulder block. Snap suplex, Dave calls for the finish. Diamond Doll is talking to Dave, Dave is distracted and DDP takes control stomping the fingers of Dave. Foot choke in the corner, DDP tries a running clothesline but gets caught in a bearhug. DDP rakes the eyes, Dave is whipped to the buckle. DDP tries an attack and crotches himself, Dave is fighting back but the fans do not care about the match, I believe someone is getting naked in the crowd or fighting. Dave stomps on DDP’s fingers, DDP is rammed off the buckle. Eye poke by Dave and a hangman’s neckbreaker. Here it comes, Inverted Bearhug but Maxx Muscle is taken down off the apron and DDP lands The Diamond Cutter for the win.
So many thankfully short matches, I am truly thankful for that but yes, WCW continues to deliver a very middle of the road card so while its not boring me to tears, it is also not interesting at all.
Winner: DDP over Dave Sullivan via Diamond Cutter!
(WCW World Tag Team Championship Match) Harlem Heat © W/ Sister Sherri vs The Nasty Boys vs The Blue-Bloods
Booker to start with Knobbs, Booker goes to get heat from the get-go. Nasty Boys beat-up everyone, Regal takes a trip to Pity-City. Same for Eaton, Knobbs and Booker start the match properly. Knobbs runs into a boot before landing a clothesline, Regal tags in off of Knobbs. Judo hip-throw and uppercuts by Regal, Booker trips Regal and lands a massive side Harlem kick. In comes Stevie Ray who smashes up Regal, Eaton and Stevie Ray are legal now. Powerslam by Stevie Ray but Sags tagged in off Eaton. Nasty Boys beat down Stevie Ray, headbutt to the groin. Tag to Sags, wishbone-split. Leg-drop to the balls, Regal is in the ring but Stevie jokes Regal to the corner. In comes Booker who waffles Regal, in comes Eaton. Eaton lands his trademark right, in comes Knobbs who runs into another boot. Clothesline and splash by Knobbs, Stevie Ray saves Booker.
Sags is legal, double clothesline on Booker for one. In comes Regal, uppercuts and throw with a knee to the head. Knees and uppercuts by Regal, Sags is tagged in by Regal. Nasty Boys and Blue-Bloods begin brawling before Booker wipes out Sags. In comes Stevie Ray, Knobbs lands elbows and a splash. Regal makes the save, Knobbs decks Regal. Harlem Sidekick from Booker for two, Sags made the save on that occasion. Stevie Ray is in, elbow to the face. Regal tags into the match, forearms and uppercuts all around. Snap-mare and a tag to Eaton, sweet right hand from Eaton. Eaton lands a top rope fist-drop, tag to Regal who looks for his Regal Stretch but Sags makes that save. Regal tags in Stevie Ray who stomps and chokes Knobbs, Knobbs is trying to brawl back into it but it’s not super effective.
Tag to Booker, Booker wants his scissors kick but Regal tags in and screws that up for Booker. Knobbs slaps down Regal but Eaton and Regal combine to beat down Knobbs. Knobbs is caught with a sunset flip before sitting down on the chest of Regal, in comes Sags. Sags decks Eaton & Regal with right hands, Harlem Heat are brawling with Knobbs. Match is breaking down now, Knobbs back-drops Regal. Sags back-drops Booker onto Regal, Knobbs splashes Booker & Regal. Sags sits on Booker and Regal but Booker is on top of Regal so Harlem Heat retain their championships.
WCW’s tag division has always been a difficult subject for me to navigate with the quality of the matches and the division varying constantly. Here we have a three-way match that doesn’t capture the drama or excitement of a straight up normal tag team match. Nasty Boys look like fools following the finish while Harlem Heat have nobody to work with because they have beaten them many times at this point and boy I am sick of this Nasty Boys feud. Would love a hard reset on the division, maybe something interesting will happen soon.
Winners: Harlem Heat over Everyone Else!
(Lifeguard Match) Ric Flair vs Macho Man Randy Savage
A lumberjack match between two men who despise one another, Ric Flair had taken out Savage’s father Angelo Poffo and defeated Savage at the prior pay per view so this is a huge match for Savage who is looking for revenge. The lifeguards surround the ring in terrible looking beach attire, Savage slaps down Flair. They lock-up, shoulder block and right hands by Savage. Corner clothesline and back-drop by Savage, Flair is knocked down by two clotheslines and a clothesline to the floor. The Lifeguards protect Flair as it is the heel guards that have Flair. Savage stomps Flair on the ring apron, Savage looks for the ten punches in the corner but an inverted atomic drop cuts off Savage. Chops and right hands in the corner by The Nature Boy, Savage is dumped to the floor. Babyface guards protect Savage, Savage lands an elbow on Flair and sends him into the buckle.
Flair chops and punches Savage but Savage continues to dish out jabs. Elbow takes down Flair, Flair wants an apron suplex but Savage suplexes Flair to the floor. Flair is begging for mercy, Savage stomps on Flair. Back-drop again, Flair begs for mercy before eye-poking Savage. Sleeper from Flair, Savage uses elbows to escape and lands a shoulder block before running into a another sleeper. Savage uses his wits to ram Flair into the turnbuckle, Savage throws punches from his knees. Chop by Flair, three in a row. Clothesline by Flair, Savage is dumped over the top rope to the floor. We have a brawl between the lifeguards as they throw Savage back into the ring, Flair is on the top rope. Savage crotches Flair but Flair jumps off onto Savage’s head so it looks rough. Flair is whipped to the buckle, Flair uses a knee to stop Savage. Savage reverses an Irish whip and applies a sleeper before Flair counters with a shin-breaker.
Flair slaps on The Figure Four Leg-Lock, the crowd comes alive for Savage. Angelo Poffo is here with shades on, Savage is rallying and turns the pressure onto Flair. Flair has to break the hold, vertical suplex by Flair. Savage fights back and Flair tries to leave but that’s not going to work. Back-drop by Savage, Savage climbs high and lands a diving axe handle. Arn Anderson is on the apron and in the ring, Knobbs is on the apron. Savage decks Anderson but Flair lands the thumb to the eyes. Savage back-drops Flair onto The Nasty Boys while Anderson nails Savage with the DDT. 1…2.. Savage kicks out! Backslide from Savage for two, Savage lands right hands. Whip to the buckle, elbow counter from Flair. Savage yanks Flair off the top rope, diving axe handle by Savage. Diving Elbow Drop by Savage and Savage wins!
Thought they would have the lifeguards play more into the finish but they were more of a non-factor at the end of the day. Shame that this stipulation rarely results in a fun match, they also immediately cut away from Savage for some reason where this is meant to be Savage’s revenge for what happened to his father but you know it is what it is with WCW. Being outside and being away from that normal wrestling audience hurts what would have been an even better match had it taken place in a normal arena. Savage is a fantastic seller and works so well with Flair, they always do deliver inside that ring so I am hoping they could continue this feud but with Flair’s constant losses, it will be hard to get me invested in the feud once more.
Winner: Randy Savage over Ric Flair via Diving Elbow Drop!
(WCW World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match) Hulk Hogan © W/ Jimmy Hart vs Vader
These two were destined to do battle since Vader became number one contender for the championship, the match was postponed as Hogan feuded with The Three Faces of Fear but Vader and Hogan did have their match with Hogan coming out on top in the leather strap match. However, now we are in the cage and there is no escape, Hogan starts hot with punches and sending Vader into the cage. Bandana down the throat and ten punches followed by stomps on the head of Vader. Axe bomber by Hogan, chops yet Vader is still standing. Vader blocks the cage and works the ribs, they are trading blows. Vader wins that war and bashes Hogan with rights and lefts. Dennis Rodman is here in full Hogan gear, Jimmy Hart screams words of encouragement. Vader doesn’t care, rights and lefts followed by headbutts. Hogan sends Vader into his helmet and Hogan is wearing the helmet. Hogan hits the most phony-looking headbutts on the planet with the helmet and takes it off.
Vader squishes Hogan with a corner splash, Vader Bomb squishes Hogan. Second Vader Bomb and Hogan kicks out at two, Vader picks up Hogan and rams him into the cage. Vader suplexes Hogan, Vader calls for the finish. Vader is ripping at something in the corner, Hogan sends Vader into the cage. Hogan wants a slam but Vader has none of it, sending Hogan crashing to the mat. Headbutts and a snap-mare by Vader, Vader is on the top rope. Vader misses the senton! Hogan tries a slam but Vader falls on him, reverse chin-lock by Vader. Hogan escapes and calls for the slam, the crowd eats that shit up. Hogan pulls it off, Hogan’s back is killing him. Vader goes right back on the offensive, blistering Hogan with fists and a short-arm clothesline. Middle rope splash by Vader for two, Hogan is Hulking Up!
Hogan lands right hands, Vader meets the cage over and over. Irish whip and a big boot, Vader is still on his feet. Hogan kicks Vader in the dick but here comes Sullivan and Zodiac, Dennis Rodman is fighting off these two heels with a chair. Zodiac and Sullivan have been thwarted by Dennis Rodman, Atomic Leg Drop on Vader. Second Atomic Leg Drop! Hogan is going to climb out of the cage, Vader is on his feet though. The scramble is at the corner on the top rope, chops and punches galore. Vader is crotched very slowly and Hogan climbs out of the cage and wins the match.
What I can appreciate it is Hogan did not pin Vader, Vader is somewhat protected while being in there with The Hulkster but as for the match itself, I never felt that Hogan was truly in danger. Such a shame considering the size of Vader and how Vader could tear apart Hogan but it just never takes off really, it is like most matches that we have seen with Hogan by this point, it is Hogan going through the motions and the quality of the main events are suffering because of it, Hogan has beaten Flair and Vader now so who else is truly left on the heel side to thwart Hogan? The goofs ran off by Dennis Rodman? God help us all in WCW.
Winner: Hulk Hogan over Vader via Escaping The Cage!
That was WCW’s Bash At The Beach 1995, an inoffensive pay per view from WCW. We have matches that aren’t horrifyingly bad or super boring but they seem to just be there and exist like this was some throw-away show that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things like a Christmas RAW but this was a PPV, people paid money to see this. Sting vs Meng starts out interesting enough and they is a strong effort to protect Meng here and made him look like a credible threat and I appreciate that and I am all for a bigger push for Sting because lord knows I have been suffering long enough with Sting taking the backseat to others, Orndorff vs Renegade demonstrates the failure of The Renegade project, crowd turns on him immediately and are not happy campers when Renegade wins. Late 80s WWF cheese doesn’t work in 1995 so Kamala and Duggan is horrific as you would imagine while DDP vs Dave Sullivan is another safe and standard affair, nothing memorable whatsoever. The three team tag team match is really bad, none of it gels together and the finish makes Nasty Boys look like fools which is definitely not a great look for your number one babyface team. Flair vs Savage is a decent match, the gimmick doesn’t really play a part in the finish while Anderson’s DDT isn’t exactly treated like a false-finish as Savage kicks out pretty early on that two count but at least it was better than anything else on the card while the main event cage match sucks, no real drama or excitement, Hogan no-selling Vader’s crushing attacks and a sloppy ending as Vader can’t even crotch himself on the rope and Hogan anti-climatically climbs out. Bad stuff from WCW, the bad hits keep coming. Thanks for checking this out and remember: there’s always another night!