Monday 12 July 2021

WWF In Your House 17: Ground Zero Review!

Hello and welcome to another edition of Seanomaniac Wrestling Reviews, the only wrestling review series on the internet that is tanking harder than WWE ratings right now! It’s time for WWF In Your House: Ground Zero! Main-evented by The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels, the man who was screwed out of the WWF Championship against the man who screwed him. HBK has become a fully-fledged heel after battering The Undertaker with a steel chair. We also have The Patriot challenging Bret The Hitman Hart for the WWF Championship and a bunch of other matches featuring mighty minis, light heavyweight action and new tag team champions. With Stone Cold Steve Austin on the injury shelf following the piledriver from Owen Hart, can the WWF continue its momentum? Let’s find out!


(Indecent Proposal Match) Brian Pillman vs Goldust W/ Marlena

Pillman has gone too far now in his obsession with Marlena, Pillman has claimed that Goldust’s daughter Dakota is the lovechild in an affair! Very serious subject matter right here, Pillman is going to leave the WWF if he loses but if Pillman wins, Marlena must leave Goldust for Pillman for 30 days. Quite the risky angle if I may say so from the WWF but knowing what comes in just a few months, we are not even scraping the surface of how bizarre things are going to become.


Pillman struts down to the ring, Goldust jumps Pillman as he should, this is a personal one for sure. Pillman tees off with chops and a shot to the back of the head, Goldust reverses an Irish whip into an inverted atomic drop and a massive lariat from Goldust. Goldust rams Pillman into the buckle, ten punches in the corner. Sorry make it more like 20! Pillman drops to the mat, Pillman is begging for mercy. Goldust lands a massive shot to the face of Pillman, Pillman cuts off Goldust and chokes him with his t-shirt. Chops by Pillman and a big elbow, Pillman eyes up Marlena and chases her around the ring. Goldust intervenes and flapjacks Pillman onto the steel steps, both men are chopping one another back and forth. Pillman lands a forearm, Goldust counters the running bulldog by crotching Pillman on the top rope. Pillman powders before Goldust cuts him off on the ramp.


Pillman is suplexed on the ramp hard, Pillman is yanked into the ring-post groin-first. Goldust starts working the knee with elbows and knee drops, Pillman reverses the running bulldog with Goldust crashing to the mat hard. Back body drop from Pillman, Pillman chokes Goldust before landing a hard Irish whip to the buckle. Goldust manages to fight back with Pillman being sent to the corner, elbow from Pillman floors Goldust. Pillman climbs high, Goldust crotches Pillman. Goldust military presses Pillman onto the guardrail before asking Marlena to slap Pillman in the face. Goldust wants the superplex but Pillman counters slamming Goldust face-first. Goldust swats away the dropkick, Curtain Call but Pillman smacks the referee on the way down. Goldust is with the referee, Pillman grabs Marlena and takes away her purse and it was a loaded purse! Pillman knocks out Goldust for the win.


What a hot crowd, unbelievable hot for a match that I was sure would be average at best. However, these fans carry these two to a very entertaining affair, reacting big to anything they do inside of the ring. They react big to Marlena getting involved, they react big to the brawling and Pillman bumping like a fiend for Goldust and they pop for the finish. Good brawling, didn’t overstay its welcome and satisfying twist in the tale of these two battling out, good stuff!


Winner: Brian Pillman over Goldust via Loaded Purse!


Scott Putski vs Brian Christopher

Good bit of heat to this one with Brian Christopher trying to cripple Putski on Raw before this match with a vicious Leg Drop from the top rope with a chair laid across the face of Putski. Too Sexy has quite the bit of potential coming off his run in the USWA, seek it out if you have not seen what Christopher could do when given the time.


Christopher is sent to the ropes, big clothesline from Putski. Big hip-toss, dropkick sends Christopher to the floor. Hip-tosses from Putski before Christopher lands a massive clothesline. To the buckle, scoop slam and Christopher goes high. Putski counters with a right hand, hurricanrana for two. Christopher dodges a clothesline and nails his facebuster, Putski fires back with a series of clotheslines. German suplex counter from Christopher, Christopher dumps Putski to the floor and Christopher lands a massive plancha with Putski’s leg buckling. Things get bad as Putski cannot move, Christopher has this match won by TKO. Putski cannot continue and this match is over!


Unfortunate that it never got going but there is tremendous upside to having Christopher in the WWF, a natural heel who should have gotten a bigger push in the WWF before Too Cool kicked off with Rikishi.


Winner: Brian Christopher over Scott Putski via TKO!


Faarooq vs Crush vs Savio Vega

Gang Warfare as the three leaders of the groups involved prepare for war, Savio Vega is still as bland as ever while I don’t think I could ever get behind DOA. The Nation are looking up though with The Rock now in their ranks and Faarooq continuing to be one of my favourites inside of the ring. All 3 men were once together in The Nation before egos and in-fighting destroyed all of it. Crush comes in like a house of fire before the two heels batter Crush. Irish whip with Crush ducking and landing a massive clothesline, Crush stomps on Vega. Faarooq dodges the corner clothesline, Faarooq starts whipping both opponents before Crush whips Faarooq. Vega attacks Crush, Vega hip-tosses Faarooq before Crush hip-tosses Vega.


Faarooq spinebusters the life out of Vega for a close two, Crush chokes Vega in the corner before Faarooq eats a powerslam from Crush. All men are battering each other before Crush knocks the heads of the two together, Faarooq blocks Vega’s running clothesline attempt. Crush smacks Faarooq from behind, I don’t think they have really figured out the triple threat formula at this stage. It’s frantic but not exactly exciting, Vega snap-mares Faarooq for two. Faarooq knees Vega hard, Crush is standing in the background waiting for his cue. Crush locks in a sleeper before Faarooq lands a diving headbutt for two. Vega makes the save, Faarooq talks too much trash as Crush electric chair-drops Faarooq while Vega covers for a close two. Vega dropkicks Crush, Crush answers back with a clothesline.


Vega lands a massive neck-breaker on Faarooq for two as Crush makes the save. JR quips this can go all night, I sincerely hope not! Crush lands a back-breaker on Vega for two, Faarooq and Crush are having words about what to do with Vega. Double suplex, both men take the cover so I guess they are going to pummel one another. Vega is dumped to the floor, back-breaker by Faarooq for two. Vega is back in already, Crush tosses Vega to the floor again. Back-breaker from Crush with Vega making the save again, Faarooq dumps Vega to the floor. Powerslam with Vega making the save again, Vega and Crush piledrive Faarooq. Crush clotheslines Vega to the floor, Heart Punch by Crush  on Faarooq but Savio nails his Spinning Heel Kick on Crush for the win.


Hardly any selling, nobody sells a thing throughout the match. Boring, plodding and clumsy looking, probably one of the biggest wastes of time that I had to sit through in recent memory.


Winner: Savio Vega via Spinning Heel Kick!


El Torito vs Max Mini

Mexican mini matches so let’s see how these matches play out on PPV, not sure what to make of this. Torito takes time to strip before he charges Mini, hundreds of flips before Torito slaps down Mini. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors, make it two. Tope con hilo from Mini and they have already done better than the triple threat, Torito boots Mini hard. Torito does not like this crowd, scoop slam by Torito. Mini dodges the senton splash, big wrist-lock from Mini. Torito reverses the hold, biting the Mini. Another superkick, boot into the ropes. Boot to the head, whip to the buckle but Mini dodges, wrist-lock from Mini. Torito bites again before kicking the referee, Mini bites the referee. Mini sits in the lap of Lawler, stealing his crown.


Jerry’s Kid chants ring throughout the arena, Mini rolls into the ring and eats a massive boot. Scoop slam and senton, Torito taunts some more. Mini lands a massive hurricanrana for two, powerbomb from Torito for two. Sunset flip by Mini for two, pinning combination for two. Massive right from Torito, lariat from Torito. Clothesline by Mini, the second one knocks Torito. Massive arm-drags, Asai Moonsault from Mini. Torito is in control in the ring but misses a corner splash, Mini goes high. Diving hurricanrana, Torito kicks away Mini. Irish whip, sunset flip and Mini wins the match.


Well that started great and then proceeded to go on and on and on which was a great shame because if they used it as like a quick break, it would have been fine but making me sit through all of this following that triple threat made me mad more than anything else!


Winner: Max Mini over El Torito via Sunset Flip!


Austin Segment

Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter has a problem, The Texas Rattlesnake was piledriven by Owen Hart, injuring his neck. Austin’s injury could not have come at a worse time for the WWF yet they turned it into a positive as Austin continues to get more over. Slaughter has ordered that Austin must vacate his WWF Tag Team Championship at Ground Zero so we have Dude Love handing over the championship before Austin is called to the ring with the crowd going bananas for The Texas Rattlesnake! Austin talks an awful amount of trash inside the ring which pops the crowd huge in a matter of seconds. Slaughter takes the championships and leaves while Austin is irate inside of the ring. JR tries to interview Austin, Austin drops JR with a Stunner!


(WWF Tag Team Championship Match) The Hart Foundation vs The Headbangers vs The Godwinns vs The Legion of Doom

How are LOD not the tag team champions already? They are super-over, everyone loves LOD and Owen & Bulldog are the perfect foils for them. You’ve teased me but still haven’t pleased me WWF, why you be like this? Thrasher and Henry to start, Henry throws down Thrasher. Side headlock from Thrasher, both men try to move the other but we have a stalemate. Clubbing blows from Henry, Thrasher shoves off Henry who shoulder blocks Thrasher. Thrasher ducks a clothesline and goes for a schoolboy. Mosh and Phineas now are in, we have the two stalling for some time, Phineas comes in with a kick before Mosh lands some hip-tosses before an arm-bar. Animal comes in and drops Phineas with an elbow, Phineas brings Animal to the corner and tags in Henry who lands clubbing blows.


Animal and Henry collide, both big son of a guns going at it. Front chancery from Henry, Animal throws Henry off before Hawk decks Henry with a right hand. Animal powerslams Mosh, tag to Hawk who lands a diving clothesline. Gorilla press slam from Hawk, Hawk slaps Bulldog who does not want to tag into the match. Phineas and Bulldog to square off, they lock-up with both men struggling to gain control, Bulldog tags in Owen who lands an axe handle. Phineas whips Owen hard to the buckle, clubbing blows from Henry who lands a massive military press slam for two. Animal is tagged in and misses a clothesline, spilling to the floor. Phineas stomps away at Animal, jaw-breaker from Phineas.


Hawk tries rising the crowd, LOD chants ring throughout the arena. Henry clubs Animal behind the referee’s back, Hawk comes in wrecking people as the match falls into chaos. The Godwinns try slopping Hawk but Animal grabs the bucket and batters The Godwinns. LOD have been disqualified from the tag team championship match. What a shame!


Mosh comes in and stomps Phineas, hip splash from Mosh. Thrasher is on the top rope and suplexes Mosh onto Phineas for a close two. Thrasher is now the legal man and dives to the floor on Phineas. Phineas whips Thrasher who falls to the floor as Henry pulled down the rope, Henry lands a cheap shot before Phineas tags in Henry. Scoop slam by Henry and a big elbow drop as Mosh makes the save. Tag to Phineas, double back body drop. Tag to Henry, Thrasher dodges the back body drop and sunset flips Phineas while Mosh wipes out Henry, we are down to two teams as Thrasher pins Phineas.


Owen comes right in, gut-wrench suplex and right hands from Owen. Stomp to the ribs and Thrasher is whipped to the heels’ corner. Owen and Bulldog batter Thrasher as the referee argues with Mosh. Bulldog is now legal and lands a big elbow to the face. Stalling suplex from Bulldog for one, Owen lands a missile dropkick for two. Irish whip with Thrasher landing a crossbody for two, Owen regains control. Mosh comes in but Owen wipes out Bulldog with a spinning heel kick, Owen is smacked by Mosh. Bulldog trips up Thrasher, Bulldog was late to his spot. Austin is in the ring and a massive Stunner to Owen Hart, Mosh covers Owen and we have our new Tag Team Champions!


Largely uninteresting match for me, crowd was hot for LOD and yet again, they do not give it to us which is a shock for sure because I am not sure what they are holding off for at this stage but the finish is over huge. Was not expecting The Rattlesnake to make an appearance but by God, the WWF are just killing it with Stone Cold Steve Austin at the moment! Austin stuns Owen keeping the fire lit on his feud with Owen and The Hart Foundation and we have new babyface tag team champions that opens up new possibilities! The finish picked me back up but these last three matches have been a tough slog!


Winners: The Headbangers via Stone Cold Stunner!


(WWF Championship Match) Bret Hart © vs The Patriot

Heel Bret Hart is what I need right now, The Hitman  hates America and I am all in on Bret who is as dastardly as they come, The Patriot has defeated Bret Hart in their previous encounter but can lightning strike twice? The Patriot Del Wilkes competed mostly in AJPW during the 90s teaming with The Eagle and other various gaijin like Johnny Ace, Stan Hansen etc and forming the stable G.E.T. with Johnny Ace & Kenta Kobashi. Solid and reliable in the ring, Patriot should do just fine!


Bret kisses the belt and jumps the challenger, Bret is such a hero. Bret rakes Patriot’s face on the top rope, belly to back suplex from The Hitman. Headbutt to the groin from the champion, Patriot is in the tree of woe. Stomps and foot choke from The Hitman, Patriot battles back with a big Irish whip and a clothesline. Dropkick by The Patriot, Bret is clotheslined to the floor. Bret takes a breather but Patriot maintains control with three massive arm-drags before clamping on an arm-bar. Leg-drop in the arm, hammerlock and Bret is sent into the buckle. Bret comes back with stomps to the leg, Bret works the legs with numerous stomps. Bret drops his weight down on the leg of Patriot, Patriot screams out in pain as Bret continues working the leg. Leg-trip and elbows to the knee, Bret hammers the leg of Patriot.


The Patriot tries fighting back as Bret has a spinning toe-hold applied, figure-four using the ring-post by the champion. Bret headbutts Patriot in the spine as The British Bulldog is here at ringside to support The Hitman. Large Austin chants from the fans, back-breaker from The Hitman. Patriot blocks the suplex and lands a snap suplex of his own, sunset flip from Patriot for two. DDT from Patriot for two, Bret blocks a corner clothesline with a knee but Patriot stops the axe handle. Clothesline by Patriot but Bulldog trips up Patriot. O’Connor roll from Bret for two, Patriot sends Bret into Bulldog and lands a schoolboy for two. Uncle Slam! Bulldog pulls out Bret, Patriot is irate but here comes Vader and they batter Bulldog. Vader sends Bret into the steel steps, Bret is furious and wants the DQ.


Patriot pummels Bret, massive headbutt. Big boot from Patriot, scoop slam from Patriot and it looks like it’s time for the missile. Patriot Missile for two and a half! Atomic drop into a belly to back suplex for a close two, stun-gun from The Hitman. Running bulldog from Bret, Bret’s Rope Elbow Drop for two. Bret pummels Patriot in the corner but Patriot fires back, the referee is waffled by accident. Uncle Slam from Patriot! 1….2… Bret Hart has his foot on the ropes! Both men collide in the middle of the ring, small package almost captures it for Patriot. Bret tastes the buckle hard, Patriot has The Sharpshooter locked in, Bret has nowhere to go but Bret counters the hold, you should never try another man’s hold on him. Bret clamps on the hold, Patriot cannot reach the ropes and gives up!


Started slow for sure, Patriot on the offensive was not what I needed to get me hooked on his WWF run. However, once we started cooking, things picked up a lot and Patriot was given a lot when it came to the match. Patriot almost pinned Bret off the Uncle Slam, Bret only surviving thanks to Davey Boy and the ropes. The leg work was quickly forgotten though, Patriot sold originally but it never continued throughout the match which is a major knock on the match as a whole. Finish is a little off with Patriot not tapping or passing out, I am guessing verbal submission is still the norm but the post-match beatdown is some good stuff with Bret assaulting officials, attacking Patriot with a devastating piledriver and breaking The American Flag. Heel Bret kicks ass!


Winner: Bret Hart over The Patriot via Sharpshooter!


Shawn Michaels W/ Chyna & Rick Rude vs The Undertaker

Nobody crosses Undertaker and gets away with it, HBK has cost The Undertaker the WWF Championship at Summerslam and Shawn Michaels signed his own death warrant by walloping Undertaker with a chair across the face, opening up The Deadman. First time Taker had been bloodied in the WWF, Michaels is as cocky as ever here, HBK in 1997 might be as close to perfect because the guy is tremendous in the ring and has the most punchable face.


Taker calmly walks to the ring, staring down HBK. HBK hides behind the referee, running around the ring before shoving the official at Taker. Taker decks the referee instantly, this is certainly a change of pace. HBK is completely thrown and Michaels decides it’s time to leave. Sgt. Slaughter tells HBK to go back to the ring, Taker picks up the referee and throws the referee onto Michaels. Taker punches Michaels up and down the ramp, military press slam on the ramp by Taker. Taker batters Michaels all around the ring, choking HBK with the camera cable and sending Michaels into the guardrail and announce tables. Michaels is being bounced around like a ping-pong ball, Michaels begs for mercy.


Clothesline from Taker, elbow drop connects from Taker. Make it two, cover with no official. Michaels flip from the corner to the floor, Slaughter makes Earl Hebnar the official. Michaels begs for mercy, Taker stalks the official and Michaels goes for the leg. Massive chop-block and right hands from HBK, Irish whip to the corner. Corner punches from Michaels, Taker shoves off HBK. Rinse and repeat, Taker wants the chokeslam but Michaels goes low with the kicks. Michaels is on the top rope, Taker blocks the axe handle with a right hand. Taker kicks Michaels who is in serious trouble, crotched on the top rope. Taker shakes the ropes, Michaels is in a bad way and Taker clotheslines Michaels down.


Taker tries old-school but HBK blocks and crotches The Deadman, HBK tries a plancha but Taker catches HBK and rams him into the ring-post. Taker ducks his head off an Irish whip, Michaels lands a neck-breaker. HBK scrambles for a chair, Taker boots down HBK and grabs the chair. The referee grabs the chair, Michaels dropkicks Taker into the referee. Flying forearm from HBK, diving elbow drop from Michaels. Another elbow drop, Taker survives the elbow drop but Rick Rude is here at ringside. Brass knuckles and Michaels has the knuckles, Taker is popped in the face. A new referee comes down, Helmsley and Chyna are here. Taker kicks out after the brass knuckles spot, Chyna & Helmsley rough up Taker. Taker is back up though, battling with HBK landing a big clothesline but Taker lands on his feet.


Helmsley and Chyna rattle Taker who shakes it off, Helmsley is saved by HBK with a diving axe handle to the floor. HBK chokes the life out of Taker while Helmsley lands some shots too. Tombstone and Sweet Chin Music are blocked, HBK is tossed to the corner as Taker lands right after right. Brass knuckles into the head of HBK, Helmsley is decked too. Michaels survives and kicks out at two! Taker has the referee and Chokeslams the referee. We finally have the referees saying that’s enough of this horseshit as Taker Chokeslams Helmsley into HBK. Helmsley is tossed to the floor, Michaels lands Sweet Chin Music and they try to take out Taker once more, Taker Tombstones Helmsley. Wrestlers break up the brawl and we go off the air after a massive dive from Taker.


Ok I liked the brawl aspect, Michaels had pissed off Taker and had to pay so we go in and Taker is furious, knocks out the referee and makes his intentions known: I am here to beat the piss out of HBK. HBK sells and sells for The Deadman, getting his ass beat all around the ring and ringside area, this is entertaining for sure but we never get a second gear because the match never leaves this brawling state, we have interference and more referee bumps and it’s logical in the sense that with the referees being unable to control the match, the superstars of the WWF would be needed to separate the two but the match just never gets going for me and it bothers me because HBK is on fire and Taker is at his best launching HBK around the ring but it definitely feels like filler!


No Contest!


That was WWF In Your House: Ground Zero and I think I could have skipped this one, this PPV was really rough at times with Steve Austin being the highlight of this show by a country mile. Austin’s career is soaring even in injury while the same cannot be said for many of the talents on this show. Following the unfortunate injury to Scott Putski, this card nosedives hard. The Tag Team Championship match, the mini-match and the triple threat Gang Leaders match were all tough to sit through and Bret Hart vs Patriot was hit and miss while the main event resembled more of an extended angle to build towards Hell in a Cell. Did I feel like I would have gotten my money’s worth on this night? Hell no, you can skip anything not involving Austin on this one! Thanks for reading and remember: there’s always another night!


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